He Did Not Let Me Choose.

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February 11, 2009 at 8:42 am #24105
emeraldforestmyheartbro
[size=12]Goodbye my beautiful baby. I only knew you for a very short time, but already I loved you. Im sorry i was not good enough for you, Im sorry You had to die. Im sorry God took your from me so soon. When I die please forgive me and walk with me in heaven. I am so sorry, my unborn child. I dont know how but suddenly you were gone from my life. I guess God had other plans for us.

I love you so much, plese forgive me.
your mommy.

Enya.[/size]
February 12, 2009 at 9:36 pm #24118
Evangeline
Hey Enya, lots of hugs coming your hun.I’m really sorry for your loss and I hope that in time you will begin to heal and find inner peace, understanding and forgiveness.
You mustn’t blame yourself for what’s happened, you have no control over nature and that does not make you a bad or unworthy mother. Please, always remember that.
Prayers and positive thoughts, E xoxo
February 15, 2009 at 11:23 pm #24149
emeraldforestmyheartbro
Thank you Eva, it’s just so hard not to blame myself. i feel like maybe if i had done something different this wouldn’t of happened. I know that sounds irrational but it’s true. I just dont know how to let go and move on. I feel like i dont deserve to be happy and continue on with my life when i know that my little baby will never have one. Im so lost..

-Enya
February 16, 2009 at 2:06 pm #24159
sophia roses mummy
hi im so sorry for your loss i know what your going thru if u ever want to talk im here for you.
stay strong luv & hugs gabby xxxx
February 17, 2009 at 11:11 pm #24167
Evangeline
Grief is so complicated and manifests itself in strange ways, please go and see a therapist, I think it’ll really help you to learn how to cope with this loss. It’s not going to happen over night, but with time you’ll learn to remember your baby without feeling all this self hatred and resentment.
You do deserve to be happy and you deserve to live a life filled with love ans success. Don’t deny yourself these things because of misplaced guilt, because I’m sure that your baby would not want his/ her mommy living a half life.
Of course you’re going to feel lost because nothing is going to replace your little one. Allow yourself to grieve, allow yourself to cry but then give yourself permission to begin healing. You cannot live your life blaming yourself for something you had no control over.
I am always here if you need to talk.
Much love, Evangeline xoxox
February 18, 2009 at 6:37 am #24172
emeraldforestmyheartbro
Thank you Eva and Gabby for your support, it means alot to me *hugs*
February 23, 2009 at 5:37 pm #24218
GangY
im so sorry for your loss!
February 24, 2009 at 5:51 pm #24242
Anonymous
How are you doing deary?
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