Hating Myself!!

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November 11, 2009 at 2:18 pm #26099
anakie
i choose abortion..
after saying everything that ill save the baby..
but i got so weak.. i didnt stand for my baby..
and now i feel hurt inside..
i honestly feel nothing physically but emotionally and mentally im hurt..
hurt of my decision, myselfishness..

i wish i was strong enough..
and i will never ever do this again..
i hate myself.. i feel lost and incomplete..
i wish i just die too..:(
November 13, 2009 at 1:46 am #26107
vannichan
its a atural feeling, you are not alone

after three years, i still feel thesame way though not as severe. it will take alot of time to cope anakie.
November 15, 2009 at 12:23 am #26113
Evangeline
Hi Anakie

I am so sorry that you are feeling all of this, but here you have found a safe haven to vent your thoughts and feelings… I felt the same way you do now when I first found this website… honestly, from time to time I still feel that way.
What you’re feeling is normal under these abnormal circumstances and just know that you are never alone in what you are feeling now and what you’ll be feeling on your way to forgiving yourself and learning to live with the decision that you made.

Also, if you are very depressed, not coping on your own or suicidal, please speak to someone close to you who you love and trust. Get somone who you can call at any hour of the night or whenever you’re feeling weak and in need of a vent… When you start to feel up to it, give therapy a shot… it really does help when you are ready to try it.

I really hope that everything works out for you. PLease keep us updated on how you’re doing.

Much love and support
Evangeline xoxox
November 15, 2009 at 6:14 pm #26116
jenjen8781
you will be in my prayers but with your lost what you are feeling is normal and I will pray for you and I am sorry you feel this way please don’t hate your self we are lucky to have a forgiving lord and the blood he shed for our sins know that your baby is in heaven and you will see him/her again I feel the loss of a child but through miscarriage I understand the feeling of loss I pray that you forgive yourself! I am sure you are an awesome person and I am sure you are caring and loving and so forth! God bless you and know that you are in my prayers! With love, Jenny!
November 16, 2009 at 6:13 pm #26120
anakie
Thank You Guys..

While reading your message im crying
everyday since the loss of my baby i cry..
i feeling my depression again..
i stared to eat alot and sleep alot to forget everything hurts me..

i wish i can go back:(
November 21, 2009 at 5:49 pm #26133
Evangeline
crying is actually really good for you… it’s so theraputic just to let out all those emotions. it’s when you don’t cry about something traumatic that you need to worry.
Have a long bath and a good cry if that makes you feel better. It’s fine in the begining. Just don’t let your grief consume you and controll your life. Also, try finding something constructive to do when you’re feeling down ( the over eating is not good for you and you’re going to feel alot worse when you start putting on the pounds.)maybe go for a walk, start writing poetry or do some painting. Perhaps you should start a blog, if you haven’t already.

Also, to Jenny. I am so sorry for your loss.

Love- Evie xoxox
November 22, 2009 at 9:00 am #26137
LouBear91
Have a good cry beautiful, but dont dwell i know its so painful right now but it will get easier. Its good you have a place to talk about this, id hate to think you had nobody to talk to!
I hope it gets easier for you xx
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