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How do you deal with that "connection" to the fathers of your children? I find it very hard to move on, always hoping that "someday" my ex will change. Or grow up. Well, he is turning 34 in Feb. so I honestly don’t think anything will ever change. He is getting to be more of a jerk as he gets older. He doesn’t believe in God (well, he believes God is an alien race that brought human DNA to Earth and Heaven is our home planet. Seriously. He has books on this crap!)
Why can’t I just feel the same about him as any person off the street? Why do I still feel connected to these men? My first child’s father is easier to not feel that way about as he is not in the picture. But still, if I ever see him at court or for a once every 3 years visit, his eyes just pierce right to my heart. I don’t know if I want to embrace him or punch him. I just wish I could cut off all my emotional reactions to these men so that I can move on with my life. Do you guys have any tips?I am new to this site but have been in your shoes. I am now 33 , but when I was 24 I had a baby out of wedlock. I hope for the first 6 months that he would change his mind. 8 years later, he has never seen our son. My husband adopted him and In time I began to realize that my relationship with the father was unhealthy, toxic and did me no good as a mother. God brought my child a father that was more than I could have every hoped for.
Honestly the connection I don’t think will go away. Its what you do with it. There will always be an emotional tie there. That doesn’t mean its healthy to act on it. You have to break free from that and see it for what it is. Let God do some healing in your life sister.Dawn in Oklahoma
I have some advice..Avoid thinking about it! It’s natural. He gave you the most precious gift of all, your baby. You will always feel something for him, but don’t be tempted. Avoid looking at him when circumstances say you must be together. Other than that don’t be with him. Out of sight out of mind.
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