had an abortion at 5 monthz

i found out i wz pregnant last yr jus 2 monthz afta my 15th birthday. i was really scared, hw ma mum wud react so i neva told er. i told my boyfriend, we now ave been 2getha 4 3 yrz bt at da tym of da pregnancy we were only togetha 4 2 yrz. he woz okay bout it n supportive bt wanted me 2 ave an abortion. 2 b honest i didnt knw wat i woz doing at da tym, all i knew woz if ma mum found out, she wud be ashamed of me. 🙁 as im indian, dat means if ma mum wud ave found out she wud neva speak 2 me. being asian iz hard so dats y i culdnt tell ne1. i wz doing ma exams at da tym n stress woz getting 2 me. so i jus went along with ma boyfriend. i found out i woz pregnant in november and only done sumfing bout it in jan. me n boyfriend went 2 an abortion clinic. they were real nice n helped alot bt sed if i really wanted 2 ave an abortion id ave 2 have it quick or it wud be 2 l8. i didnt knw wat 2 do, coz by dat tym i had got used 2 aving a baby inside me growing. 🙁 i was so scared n used2 cry alot. neway i neva sed nothin n jus went along with ma boyfriend. neway they fixed me a appointment at dis clinic where i had 2 take a tablet n phoned da hospital 2 say i had 2 be admitted. neway bout 1 week l8r me n my boyfriend went 2 da clinic n took da tablet. i knew straight away dat i done da wrong fing. but da nurse sed i cud still keep da baby if i wanted bt da baby wud be disabled. i culdnt do dat 2 ma baby, i knew i had 2 go ahead with da termination, i didnt want 2 let ma baby suffer. neway i told ma mum i woz going paris. bt instead i woz admitted in2 hospital. i had 2 give birth. da clinic told me it wud jus b lyk a bad period but trust me it wasnt. i had 2 push, it hurt so much. it took me 6 hrz 2 ave da baby n wen i did it wasnt alive. my heart broke. n i had depression 4 several monthz. even nw i still cry n wish i had ma baby. it wud ave been 5 monthz old. i feel so terrible.

so 4 all u girlz dat r pregnant, dont ave an abortion. even if u fink it iz da only way out. trust me it isnt theres many ways. i wish i didnt but nw its 2 l8. 🙁