Father’s Day

well i am due 26th June, so unless she decides to make an appearance before then… we have nothing planned lol.
but if she is born on or close to her due date i suppose it’s a late prezzie for my boyfriend 😛

Soon To be Mummy To Ella Louise Smart – Due 26.06.09

Autumn,
I can understand and sympathize with you about Caden’s father, but I hope that I can give you a different outlook on Father’s Day by my more optimistic attitude.

I had to go through a lot as a child with my father being my only parent. He was a wonderfully loving father to the four of us after my mother walked out when I was a baby. I celebrate Father’s day for him even though he passed away 1 year ago. I thank him for giving me life. He may not have always been able to be with me every minute due to demands on him to work and provide for me and my siblings, and he may not have made enough to give us everything we wanted, but I know he loved me. Father’s Day is for my own father.

I think about the more positive people in my life who have helped to shape who I am today….my Uncles, my Grandfathers….my brother (he’s very special to me) because he protected me and took me everywhere and I watched him be a loving gentle boyfriend to his girlfriend as we grew up. I celebrate Father’s Day for my brother.

Two of my closest friends have outstanding husbands who smile in the face of raising their children with Downsyndrome. Their children cannot talk nor comprehend what is going on around them and they blissfully roam the community while strangers oogle and stare at them as if these beautifully special babies had a choice in the matter. These father’s I watch and look to them as humble role models for the other young men and boys in our community. I thank God for these father’s who show my son what it means to be a true father.

There were times when my own husband and I went through some painfully cold and evil phases in our relationship with oneanother. There was no fairness, love, compassion or selfless understanding. At one point I thought I hated him for what he was doing to me and our marriage, and I felt justified in my selfrighteous perfect skin. Little did I know, I was making things worse. We nearly lost everything and actually had to be broken emotionally as well as die of ourselves to see what we were doing.
My husband of 22 yrs. and I have since left that other life in the past and now look back on it as a reminder of how far we’ve come to true love. We don’t forget our past, we remember it to help us see how imperfect we are as human beings so that we can be more charitable, understanding and nonjudgmental towards others. I almost left my husband for good to run from him and what he wasn’t being for me and my children, but he is now my best beloved friend whom I trust with my whole life because without him, I wouldn’t have become who I am today.

I celebrate my husband on Father’s Day for who he’s become

As painful as it is for you not to experience any involvement in your life from Caden’s father…..Please hear me gently suggest that regardless of what he’s obviously not doing now, you can still find some moments in your past relationship with him that deserves some respectful thought or recognition as Caden’s father, and maybe you can hold onto that thought long enough and privately thank him for being Caden’s daddy. Celebrate father’s day for Caden…..that he is here because of his daddy. You can leave it as simple as that and have a more positive day with your baby boy.

You will be in my thoughts this weekend Autumn and email me anytime if you need to talk.

Love and support,
myangel