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      i need some advice guys.for those of you who have the father of your baby uninvolved as i do,what are you going to tell your child when they want to meet their dad??it scares me so much that they may hate me for not keeping in contact with their dad.i dont even know his last name and he lives in spain,me in new zealand so theres no chance of contacting him.there must be some of you out there that fell pregnant to a one night stand or something and no longer know the father..??i dont know how to plan ahead for this one it gets me so upset to know i have no control over itis anyone else in a similar situation??


        Hola.Im from Spain myself.I didnt fall preg on a nitestand but i have a girl from here who fell preg after one nitestand with an english man.What did she do? well..first, she never bothered to call him whatsoever,its easier if you can deal on your own.She has a 6 y-o child and she has these things in mind to say:
        -If you plan not to contact him then tell him he’s dead: so efficient.
        -You can also tell your child he left, or he disappeared.
        I have issues with my babys dad, hes my neighbour but dont want him to be involved,if he shows up ill tell my child the whole truth( he was the 1 to blame and left us alone during the 9 months) and if things are fine ill move on, ill tell my child her father just left us for some1 else.Dont worry for it!!!believe me, you are lucky!!


          Well, coming from a person who has never met my father (he skipped out after he found out my mother was pregnant, MALES!). I honestly don’t think my mother had to tell me much, just that he left when he found out she was pregnant. I decided that if he didn’t want to be involved, it was definitely his loss, I bore nothing but hostility for him as a child. Child support would have been nice though! I wouldn’t suggest necessarily lying to your child, just tell them what happened in the most simple vague terms, that can get more detailed as the child grows.


            I am faceing the same situation, I am 5 and1/2 months and I am not with the father. I have decided that the best way is to try to be honest and provide as much love as I can. I am going to tell my son that his father and I were not in love and we live so far apart, but that that does not change the fact that we both love him. The other question I know I will have to face eventually is why his father is not around and he lives with me. I am going to tell him that it is because I am older and because his father knew that it would be mean to our child to take him from his mother so that is why I will be the one raising him. That is my plan and a little of my story I hope it helps.

            Good luck from Caty

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