Confused and Scared.. Support?!

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      Well I am so confused and looking for some good advice from those who care. I am really confused about what I want, I am pregnant only a couple weeks and my ex-boyfriend told his mom. She was okay with it and I am not sure how my mom will handle this. Its not really even about the parents, its more about what I want for my future. I have saw my family through rough times and this will be one of them, I feel like its up to me to suceed because my brother is always in and out of jail.. I want to attend college and be a radieologist or pharmasist. I am not sure I could do this with a baby because of time and money. I just turned 16 last week and I am only a sophmore in highschool. I want an education and a family and a husband someday that wants a baby with me. (I guess I wasn’t thinking about this at the time:( ) I trusted Ortho Tricyclen Lo too much and did I not take the extra precaution of another method. I love God very much and I feel that this is not my choice to not have this baby, I do feel he has a plan and a reason for everything, but in the back of my head I really want to be punched in the stomach. Which is very harsh and wrong of me to say because I was thinking what if I ended up having cancer or became injured in a bad accident and plans had to be put on hold. My mind is torn between what I want and whats right. I know abortion is wrong and probably not the right thing for me, but I don’t know whats best…Please give me some support. The babys father does want the baby and tells me he wants to be with me, but then again he had a hicky on his neck from another girl and blames it on alcohol:laugh: Its not even about him either, God is there to father the fatherless and I am a strong girl.


        Hell yes you’re a strong girl! 😉
        Definitely don’t get an abortion because it sounds like you’re already regretful just THINKING about it. Pregnant women have SO many choices and the only two that ppl ever talk about are abortion (it’s so horrible!) and keeping the baby (it’s so expensive and you can’t go to school!) but there’s a lot in between. Like, some colleges have special housing for student moms and there are scholarships out there too. Plus there’s adoption, and more than one kind of adoption. For instance open adoption if you want to maintain a relationship with the child, and legal abandonment if you want absolute confidentiality.
        Don’t hesitate to talk to me if you need anything!
        ~Kelsey B)

        Post edited by: lisa, at: 2006/11/29 22:47


          I had an abortion 8 years ago and the pain never goes away. At the time my boyfriend bullied me into and i knew it was wrong but went against my feelings and did it anyway. it was the worst mistake of my life!

          I would do anything to have had a second chance and take it back. everytime i would see a baby after that, i would cry . i felt horrible about myself. i also didnt realize how fast the baby develops. you should look at pictures, it is amazing. For some reason God has blessed you with this child. sometimes we don’t understand why things happen the way we do, but just know it is for a reason. i pray you do not destroy this life, you will feel pain you did not know possible. you never move on from it. you feel guilty and ashamed and your relationship with God is severly changed. i spent so much time crying and asking for forgiveness but it takes so long to even forgive yourself.your life is never the same.

          save not only your baby’s life, but your life! please do not make the wrong choice of abortion. it is one you will regret forever. you can do the right thing and things will be ok!

          i am now married and a year ago i had a miscarriage and it just shows that you never know what the future holds and this may be your only chance to have a child.
          i am praying for you and your baby. no matter what anyone tells you or whatever discouraging words you hear, do not listen. making the right choice is hard at times but so worth it. abortion is murder and horrible no matter what you tell yourself. i do not want you to go through the same pain i did. i thought it would not be that hard to recover from, i thought i would have a second chance. i was so numb from being upset i wasnt thinking right when i walked into that clinic.
          you dont know how many times i wished i would have walked right out fo there and did what God told me and what my heart told me!!!
          i wished i hs someone to tell me not to do it and give me a reality check.
          there is so much support out there and help and programs. you can do this. you can have this beautiful baby and have a blessed life, even though it is not the original plan you had for yourself, it will be the most rewarding one you will ever have!!!!!!!!
          keep your dignity and respect for yourslef, reach into the person you know you are and pray to God for strength. do the right thing and fight to do the wrong one! the wrong choice seeme like the answer or the better way but it is not.
          much love,


            i’m so srry for your situation. I believe the same about God, that it wouldn’t have happened if He didn’t want it to. I also trusted the pill too much and i missed one or two days….just enough that I am now about 13 wks pregnant, i’m 17 and a senior in HS, but i am graduating early (so i get out in jan)…the father of the baby and i have been together for 2 yrs. and almost 6 months…we are planning on getting married (NOT because i’m pregnant, because we were already planning on getting married, my getting pregnant just upped the date a little) i believe that you can still go to school and have a baby….it WILL be harder but you sound like a very brave and srtong girl, i believe you can still go to college and be what you want…it may just take a little longer than you might like……..just remember to make the right choice for you and NOT let ANY body tell you what is right for you!
            i wish you the best and if you need to talk you can email me.

            Post edited by: lisa, at: 2006/11/29 22:55


                I’m sorry you’re having to face this. You sound ike a strong girl, in the end everything will work out okay.

                I want to reiterate what I post here all the time. CHEATING is not love and a hickey is CHEATING! If someone loves you he will not NOT NOT be sucking on someone else’s neck. So forgiving him is fine if you truly believe i nyour heart this is unusual behavior for him – but be honest with yourself.

                I just want to wish you luck and remind you there are other options besides parenting and abortion….open adoption allows you to choose a family and even maintain some contact if you want. It’s not for everyone I’m just an advocate because our beautiful son came to us through open adoption so I like to remind people it’s a viable option.

                Good luck honey. And don’t lose sight of your goals, even with a baby you can reach them!

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