Hi Kayla!
The quick answer to those questions is that God will give you the grace. He will give it to you when you need, though, and not any sooner! Every pregnancy & delivery is unique…I’ve had 4, all similar is some ways and radically differ in others! There is just no way to know tell you exactly what to expect!
Although you can’t help but wonder what your experience will be, try to focus on & enjoy where you are now and your baby’s development this month. I was amazed during my pregnacies that as I reached different stages in "our" development, I was ready to be there. Things I feared or could not understand at the 5 week stage, I was ready for at 35 weeks.
As far as pain in childbirth…I’ll share what might have dispelled some of my fear as a first-time mom. The pains of labor are not where I feared they would be! (it’s in your uterus) Yes, there was pain and it was not like anything I had ever experienced, but it just wasn’t the horror I had imagined. BUT, holding my newborn baby was more joyful and beautiful than I could have ever imagined. You’ll be tough enough, don’t worry about that! Your toughness will grow with your tummy!
I’ll be praying for you!