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sibzy
for those of you who dont know my story i had an abortion last year, unwillingly and I have never ever gotten over it.
I have been having really bad dreams ever since 3rd of febuary last year, the day of my abortion and they are just geting worse and worse.
the night before last I had the same nightmare I always have where I am in a dark room and I can hear her crying but I cant get to her or find her.
But this time I was in the dark room again but I was very pregnant and then my water broke and no one was around to help me and I couldnt help myself at all and then my baby stopped moving… She was gone
I woke up sweating and crying and I had wet myself in my sleep, I just really dont know what it means.
Im so scared and so heart sore, I really wish I still had my baby…
Im so empty without her…
What do you think my dream means??
ericklirios
Hi, Sibzy.
I’m not a psychologist who specializes in dreams but I do know that you need peace. First, I would encourage you to visit rachelsvineyard.org. They minister to women and men who have gone through abortion and they try and work with them to heal.
Another thing here is you have to forgive yourself. What you went through was horrible but you’re not doing your baby any favors either by not being able to grow from this experience. Yes, it was horrible but you’re not. You have to live with the fact that good people do end up doing bad things many times.
Please pray a lot. You may want to join some retreat group at church or simply spend some time alone or better yet with the guidance of some spiritual director.
I guess what I’m trying to say here is that you need your community and you cannot isolate yourself from them. You have to let them into your life more so that they can help you.
I don’t know if you’ve allowed yourself to get mad over this but you need to so that you can learn from it and be stronger.
Please take a look at John 8:1-11. Christ eventually asked the woman caught in adultery if there was anyone left to condemn her and she said, "No one, sir."
His reply is something all of us here who know abortion should remember, keep in our hearts and allow to guide us everyday: "Well, then, I do not condemn you either. Go, but do not sin again."
Take care of yourself, honey.
Erick
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