Again……. Need advice

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      Ok, so I’m sure i probably sound irresponsible since i just had a scare like two months ago. But let me explain. lol My periods in September and October were only light spotting, no cramping, and lasted a week.. Not normal for me at all. So, i took lots of tests and one brand was positive and was negative. But, i think the positive ones were just where the pee settled in. But, i got the nuvaring in late September and was going to see if i have a normal period in october. It did the same thing as september, even started on the same day. So, i decided to wait until this month to start my birth control just in case. Well, i have only had sex 4 times since September and all with condoms. But…. I am fifteen days late. I took a test 5 days ago and it was negative. Could i still be pregnant?


        Hello there, I understand your need to ask this question again and your fear of becoming pregnant, however I need to tell you something that you may not want to hear and I hope that you will know that I say it with as much love and care for you as possible….Here it goes, You are not responsible enough to be having sex. Sex was meant to be a privilege between a husband and wife. Look at it this way, can you imagine a 3 year old getting behind the wheel of a car? Is it possible? Yes, a 3 year old is capable of steering a vehicle if someone is holding down the pedal and like sex it takes 2 people to make it happen but is a 3 year old capable of making good decisions and responsible enough to drive? No…That is why there is an age limit for a drivers license. Well with sex there is no set age limit other than the age of consent which in most states is somewhere around the age of 16, but…just like the scenario of driving a car, if you are not mature enough to make the right decisions then you should not be taking on the task of having sex. You are putting you, your partner, your future children, yours and his parents all at risk of many consequences. It is always better to be married before engaging in sex, there are just to many negatives including, guilt, unwanted pregnancy, STD’s, being used and dumped leading to self esteem issues, leading to rebound after rebound leading to sexual promiscuity and that leads to even higher risks of pregnancy and disease. If you look at it realistically and maturely you will see that the only risks of NOT having sex before marriage include losing a boyfriend (he is obviously not in it for the long run if he dumps you for not having sex) being called a “prude” (better than being called a tramp), having longings for sexual pleasure and closeness that are not being fulfilled, (only making the wedding night that much more fantastic) and other superficial things like that…there are so many real and dangerous and damaging risks to sex before marriage that it is just not an equal comparison, I hate to be so blunt but you are not ready to be having sex if you are having all of these pregnancy scares and if you are not in tune with your body enough to know what is happening and if you are having a hard time understanding if a pregnancy test is accurate, blunt and honest, YOU HAVE NO BUSINESS HAVING SEX….I really do care for you and your future and that is why I had to tell you this, you need to put the brakes on and do some more growing up and maturing before you enter into a serious enough relationship to consider having sex, preferably marriage….Sorry if what I said sounds harsh, it was not intended that way but you really need to re examine your sex life and make better decisions….Love Meg


          To: Mweber

          I understand that i do sound very immature and irresponsible. That is The reason i have waited fifteen days before posting any questions. I have only had sex with one person. That person has only had sex with me. We mutually made this decision. I have only had unprotected sex once and it was while i was on birth control. We are planning on getting married the September of 2010. We spend as much time as we can together. We both have jobs and often work opposite shifts and days. I work until eleven at night and then go to school the next day. Waking myself up at 5 30. The two days a week that i do not work, i come home, take care of my 4(will be 5 next week) siblings that range from 14 to 2, next week there will be a newborn, i cook dinner, clean, bathe kids, tuck them in, and then i can shower myself, go to bed, and wake up at 5 30 the next morning. I do this and maintain a 3.3 gpa. I spend the night with my boyfriend friday and saturday nights because i have to be at work at 9 the next morning and he lives right next to my job. Those two days are the only times we spend any amount of time together but our relationship is still as strong as any. I love him with all of my heart and always will. I know that for a fact because there is something called commitment. Something i am to him and he is to me. We have our rough times but nothing can change the way we feel. We have talked about not having sex anymore. But like the decision to have sex it needs to be mutual. We do not feel the need to cease that act at the moment. We made the conscious, thought over decision and are prepared to be responsible for the consequences it may bring. I thank you very much for being concerned for my well being and i understand that from your point of view i seem very immature and childish, but please take account for the things of which you do not know. Please do not judge me. I have not judged you. Thank you so much for your opinion and advice. Love, lisa


            I appreciate your response and I hope that you will see that I am not pointing a judgmental finger at you because that was not my hearts intent, I apologize if it came across that way, see, I started out much the same way. I became sexually active at 13 and got used and dumped very quickly afterward, literally like 5 minutes after we were done…it hurt so badly, I do not really know what it is like to lose my virginity to another virgin and have a steady relationship carried out with the same person for a length of time. I have learned that there is a huge difference in how it affects people and I am if nothing else thankful that you did not have my same experience…LOL…it sucked…I guess I just had to learn the hard way in so many areas that I can be extreme when it comes to talking about abstinence…after 10 years of being sexually active with multiple partners and two kids from two dads I chose abstinence. I remained abstinent for 2 1/2 years until my wedding night and it was amazing…I guess I just want that for everyone else because of how it made me feel, your situation is a little different than mine but I still have no doubts that your relationship has nothing to lose by abstaining till marriage…I am not here to judge by any means so please don’t take what I say as judgment, I just want to help others make better decisions than I have….I wish you all the best and I think you will be a great mom one day with all the experience you are obtaining with your siblings but we both know where babies come from and if you are not ready for babies then you need to take it a step above birth control, it fails, just take care and make sure that you are thinking of your future…Love Meg


              I will definately take your advice into consideration. It is something we have discussed multiple times. We are for sure stopping a year before we get married so our wedding night will still be exciting. I really do appreciate your concern for me. Thank you so much for taking your time to help. Different topic, could i still be pregnant or should the test definately be positive by now?

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