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Anonymous
I recently got out of a long term relationship. Me and my ex have been talkin off and on 4 about 3 years now but we broke up in January after a 4 month relationship. I have been feeling kinda empty lately and have been goin out alot tryin 2 release some stress. Well one day my best friend asked me if I wanted 2 go out wit her and some of her friends and I said yes. We ended up at a hotel wit my best friend ex and some of his friends from Georgia. I knew one of them was going 2 try 2 talk 2 me but I didn’t think it was gonna go dis far. This boy kept flirting and messing wit me the whole nite but I wasn’t feeling him like dat. I later thought about it and i asked myself "y am i being so mean to him? He don’t know me." So stop bein so mean and started talking 2 him. I already knew my best friend and her ex wanted to have sex but didn’t really care. Later dat night everybody decided dat dey wanted 2 have sex but I wasn’t really ready 4 it already. I’m not going 2 lie… I was really scared. Next thing I knew all da lights was off and it was a couple on each bed and I was sitting on my phone on the floor playing a game. I knew I shouldn’t have even thought about doing something like dat wit a boy I haven’t known 4 a week but I didn’t wanna be da outcast and didn’t want him 2 be mad at me so I took me friend outside and told her everything I was thinking and feeling. She told me dat I didn’t have to do it and then I asked her ex and he said I should. I was so confused. Then I thought whats the worst that can happen…. he don’t even stay down here and who’s going to tell anybody about it so I did it. Throughout everything I felt horrible and felt like crying. After it all was over I couldn’t think about anything else but I tried 2 4get about it. About 4 days later my best friend wanted me to go back to da hotel room. I went because I knew 4 a fact dat nothin was gonna happen dis time. I was in the room sitting on the bed watching the talk show "Maury" on TV and da boy kept saying I need 2 tell u somethin. Not wanting 2 hear what he had 2 say I was ignoring him. I knew it was somethin serious when my best friend ex came 2 me and was like "u need to listen 2 what dis man gotta say." I had somethings goin thru my head so I just walked out. The boy caught up 2 me and told me dat while we was havin sex the condem broke. When I heard that I felt like crying and punching him in da mouth. The bad thing about it was that he had a smile on his face da whole time like somethin was funny. Then he came out da mouth saying "at least it won’t be ugly." I felt disgusted after all that. He finally left and I called my ex and asked him 2 pick me up from the hotel. My best friend soon came around da corner and I told her what happened and she couldn’t believe it. We had no respect for any of them anymore. He also told my best friend ex that I better not have an abortion. I seriously don’t know what 2 do. I don’t believe in getting abortions but I think this might be an exception because I barely know this boy and I’m only 17. I can’t have a baby. I have a reputation to keep. Can somebody please help
im a pregnant 16 year old and i just want you to know its not about you anymore once you made that choice to have sex wether you knew him or not you took a chance on getting pregnant. so now you want to run scared how do you think your baby would feel? if your against abortions then why put your mind on that path. every one makes mistakes thats life but its what you learn from those mistakes thats what matters. think about it.
Hey!
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, "Everything happens for a reason." It is SO true. The first thing is make sure that you ARE pregnant before you put yourself through a lot of unnecessary stress. If you are, then you are. Babies are a blessing not a burden. Being a teen mother will not be easy, but it’s DEFINITELY possible. Ask God for his help and and ask Him to give you strength and endurance. We have to suffer the consequences for our mistakes. I understand how you feel about the reputation. I’m 19 and I’ve been involved in everything in church and school and the last thing that I wanted to do was get pregnant, but I am. So, now I have to do what I have to do in order to provide for my unborn child. There are a lot of youn women who have given birth at young ages. The success (yes, success) stories on this website inspired me to keep my baby. I won’t tell you what decision to make because you know what is best for you. But I can say that God didn’t give you a baby for you give it back to Him in that way. Good luck to you! I hope eveything goes well for you.
Having a baby is more importnant than breaking a stupid reputation, everything happens for a reason in this world. your current reputation may go down hill but then if people think less of you because you are not going to kill another human being, who realy didnt chose for this to happen, then they are not worth it.
I had my baby girl and i now have a reputation to be proud of, im seen as a great, fun, loveing and caring mum, by all those that mean something to me. You can build a new repuatation, you will never get the chance to rebuild a relationship with your child if you have an aborton. It is not the easy way out, you wont forget what happened, and i can garentee that not a day will go past when you will think about what you could of had if you have an abortion.
At the end of the day it is your choice, and you never know things might turn out realy great for you and you may not be pregnant, i hope to god that that is the case for you, but if its not, then there are people out there who can help you, they can tell you every option that is avaliable to you, including me, im a say it as it is girl so if u want my advice ill help you. just post a letter back on this site and ill email you
Good luck
VicerityI know how you are feeling, but in my opinion I can honestly say I wouldn’t have an abortion. TRUST ME on this one. For the rest of your life you’ll always wonder if he or she would have been successful, beautiful, happy, intelligent.. all of that will cross your mind. even thought it was with somone you dind’t love. My opinion is to give it up for adoption. there are alot of families who simply can not have children and want them so bad. You don’t want it— they do. Perfect situation. I know because when I was your age i was forced to have an abortion. I am 22 now, and to this day I regret it. I wish I had made the right choice. when I was given the choice. Your son or daughter will find a great home and if you do it right then maybe you’ll be able to have contact so you can see how he or she grows up. It’s hard living with your self after an abortion. I know…. I hope that you make the right choice for you.
All my hope,
Ashleyhey chick. i’m sry th@ ur havin’ 2 go through this but it is possible th@ ur not pg. i wudnt wry till u miss a period or start showing signs. then if ne or th@ happens u can take a test. as far as the abortion thing i dont believe that even this is an exception, but its ur choice. just remeber that yes u made a mistake but its not that baby’s fault and there are other options. talk to ur friends and parents about this and see what they say if they dont support u there are other ppl. out there th@ will. if u got an abortion, no matter wh@ ne1 says, u’ll more than likely feel horrible for the rest of ur life. if u need to tlk just email me.
You cant worry about something like a reputation when it comes to a baby. I had an abortion when I was 16 and have never forgiven myself. I think that if you really dont think that you can do this, give it up for adoption, there are many families that cant have children. Maybe you could find a place that takes in girls in you position, we have a great one where I live.
I know this sounds bad but I pray that you are not pg! I was 17 when I got pg, I was with my boyfriend a yr and a half. The week that I got pg, I could have been w another guy and I choose not too, it just didn’t feel right! Then little signs started to happen. I ignored it, we had had unprotected sex for a yr and I was told that I couldn’t have kids and if I did get pg it would be complicated. Well needless to say I was 6 weeks pg when I found out, just got accepted to the college that I wanted and had my life planned out. Well that is what is funny, it’s not your plan it’s God’s! now my daughter and I are very healthy and happy. She is 4 now. I did end up marring my boyfriend and now I’m 22 and have been trying to have another baby for 2 yrs!! I had a misscarriage in Oct 03 and it was devastating! Then again it’s God’s plan. If he wants me to have another child I will. I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t take anything for granted, especially life! If it happens that you are pg then let it be. I had a reputation too as the "inosent girl, who did well in school" and popular, well where are my so called friends now? Actually you learn a lot about yourself and your friends once something like this happens to you. Don’t let anyone take advantage of you! I don’t know what to tell you about the "? father". He does have a right to know. things will work out for the best. Always remember that EVERY THING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, you may not understand that reason right away or even a yr later, but it will come to you. You can email me if you want. Let me know the outcome!
Dear Tiffany,
I couldn’t believe your story when I read It, because It’s totally the exact same thing that I am going through right now. I am in my first year of college, and I’ll be 20 yrs.old in August. I just found out a few weeks ago that I am pg. I have been with the same bf for a year and about 9 months. I actually found out that I was pg the day of our 1 year and 8 month anniversary, which was on March 11th. What a great GIFT, huh?! Well anyways, we were having sum problems with him cheating on me with sum girls from work and stuff, so to make a long story short, i kinda slept with his best friend to get back at him. And NOW I HATE MYSELF! I love him very much! and i know he loves me…he knows about the pg thing. and he seems happy. I just dont know how to live with myself when i dont know who the real father is to my baby, going day by day knowing? and noone else does? its awful. i want it too be his and only his. i want it to look and act like him and everything. I’m just not the kinda person to do sumthing like that, i’m so disgusted with myself, thats for sure. So to sum this all up, im excited, yet sad?!? i havent even told all my or his family yet. That day will cum soon, and i am not lookin foward to it at all. UGH! well hopefully they will except the fact! and yes! i also too do believe that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!!! Well, i just wanna say thanx to you for writing a message out on here, i stumbled onto this website and found it. i believe that was meant to be, cuz your story helps me alot, to know that i am not alone! thank you, please respond back soon! 😉If you are pregnant, Please don’t have an abortion. I know that it will not be easy to have this baby, but everything does happen for a reason. God has a plan for you and your child. I did choose abortion at age 19 and have lived with the regret for 17 years. I have finally come to terms with it through the help of a wonderful priest. I have made it my mission to reach out to others to stop them from making the same mistake I made. I have a friend who also got pregnant at 19. She kept the baby and trusted in God. She evnetually met a married a wonderful man who excepted her child, had two more children and then went on to co-found an organization that helps young teenage mothers with pre and post-natal care, baby items and supplies, support groups and even some babysitting. It was truly what she was meant to be doing. Be open to all possibilities. I will keep you in my prayers.
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