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Anonymous
I really dont know what to do. OK im 16 years old and i’ve been with my boyfriend and the baby’s father for over a year. At first he was there for me asking me what it’s name should be and he’d never leave me and stuff like that. But lately he’s been acting different. He’s barely over here anymore, now he wants me to give it up (i was gonna have an abortion but i changed my mind), he told me he might cheat the rest of my pregnancy (but he changed his answer when i got upset) or when i have to recover but he says he still loves me. And he cheated on me about 7 months ago w/ my best friend but i stayed b/c i love him and he says he’d never do that again and we’ve both cheated. And he says he’s so scared he doesnt know if he’s ready for this anymore and he might not be there for me or our baby. I dunno what to do please help me.
First of all girl there is hope don’t panic you are gonna get through this. If you want some extra encouragement then read my story I just posted last week its called "you will never regret having your baby!" I want you to know that you and your baby boy or girl can get through this without that man I know it doesn’t feel like it but you can. I am sorta in the same process except my son is already born I’m not pregnant anymore-my story says more about it all- but I just know that you don’t have to give your baby up if you don’t want to there are sooooo many resources available to help young teen moms survive and succeed as mothers and as independant, self-sufficient women. If you have no one else to support you then I would go to your local Family Independence Agency to apply for Medicaid which will pay for every medical bill. Your worker there will also help you find ways to get your own place with your baby as well as food benefits for you and your baby. I know that no one wants to live off the government but there are many cases like yours in which it is perfectly normal and wonderful to get some help at first. You can get help with daycare and all sorts of stuff they help pay for everything! Sometimes they will help you get some sort of transportation and a job and so much more. They also encourage advancing in your education which of course is basically free if you have a baby in most cases(in mine it was). You can do this I know you can because I know you want to keep your baby and you don’t need to deal with that guy he will only drag you down. You and your child will live a happy life togather and gradually you will become less dependant on the state and more sure of yourself and your abilities. I have a feeling you will be fine just do like I said and make a few calls to some places like FIA and they will get you on the right track. You will feel so much better after you talk with your FIA counselor because they will help you realize that you are not alone and they can help you get through this with you baby. Good luck and I really want you to understand that you are stronger then you think you are- trust me I’ve been there too:)
I can sympathize with what you are going through. I was 17 and pregnant with my boyfriend’s baby. He joined the military (he was 19 at the time). He promised me that when he finished basic training he would be back for me. I figured I could wait a few months (who was going to want me now). I know I loved him unconditionally. I had the support of my older sister, who was and still is like a mother to me. She helped me get on Medicaid, find my own place to live, applied and accepted to nursing school. I arrived at my 8th month, huge I might add and very scared. He was nowhere to be found. I have my beautiful baby girl 2 weeks early. Her daddy wasn’t there. Two months after giving birth to my sweet baby, I started school. I used every possible aid I could find to help me through those two tough years without him. Now, six years after giving birth, I am a better person for realizing that I did not need his support to get through that. I graduated from nursing school at the top of my class, because every time I looked at her smiling (or crying!) face I knew what needed to be done. I am not telling you everything is going to be easy, becasue its not. I’m telling you that everything has a way of working out. How do I know this? My baby just told me "goodnight, Mommy. I love you!" Nothing in this entire world is more precious than your own child. I was lucky then and I will continue to be lucky, as long as she’s by my side. Just to let you know what happened to her biological father: he was getting married when I was delivering our child. So I ask you is he really worth it? Your child will be.
Manda
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