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Anonymous
I knew I was pregnant before I even missed my period. I could feel it through my entire body. I waited 6 days for my period and when it didn’t come, I went to the store and bought a test. Three of them to be exact. All three came out positive. The second pink line was there within seconds not minutes. If that means anything. The father is the same person I’ve been with for the past 8 years. But in life him and I both have some issues. Like we both have nothing, he lives with his sister and I live with my mom. But as I said We both have nothing. I am 22 and he is 25. I work full time but still feel I can not provide what I need for my baby. I can feel the changes in my body. I know I have a life growing inside of me. The online due date calculators estimate that I am about 6 weeks pregnant. I have an appointment tomorrow w/ the women’s center. I only found out 3 days ago. I have only told my two best friends both of which feel I should have an abortion. I know maybe I should, but I don’t think I can go through with it. I’m terrified to feel that I made a mistake, especially b/c its so obvious the changes I feel in my body. I’m terrified to tell my mother, I am afraid she too will want me to get one, and if she does then what can I do? I can’t support a child without her help, at least not at first. But I want this baby. I honestly do, I just feel like I have no other choice, and I feel as though I’m sugar coating the whole situation. The people I have discussed this with seem to think having a child is the biggest mistake I could ever make. I just wish I had the money, and I would have this baby no problem, and I would be fine, w/ help or not. Its just I have nothing, and I’m soooo confused.
Okay first off KNOW THIS!! The only person who can go in and lay on a table and allow some doctor to dismember their baby is YOU!!! Your mother can not MAKE you and your friends don’t have a CLUE as to how horrifying this will be! This isn’t something that will just "go away" the day after!! You WILL see children for the rest of your life and the pain will hurt EVERY time you see a child that is about the age your baby should have been! I respect the fact that you are admitting you can not financially handle a baby! That deserves a BIG HUG!!! You do have other options! Look into open adoption! You obviously already love this baby. You can be the one to say "I gave my baby life, I gave my baby to two very special people who couldn’t have one of their own!" Rather than saying "I killed my baby!" With open adoption YOU pick the parents, YOU sit back and watch the baby grow up and guess what, YOU get to buy the baby a gift for his/her birthday and not have the responsibility of feeding, clothing and caring for him/her the rest of the time! I think this is a WONDERFUl option! And guess what, those parents who are looking for a child WANT that responsibility of raising them!! They simply want something you can offer them just as you want something they can offer you! Please keep us posted and don’t let ANYONE influence your decision! Nine months of being pregnant is NOTHING compared to a lifetime of pain (of dealing with abortion)!! Good Luck and I will be praying for you!!
Loops2708………i’m not sure i am even doing this right I usually come on here just to read and think about things i have read! I hope its not too late to talk to you but i think just a few words would make me feel better…….i have read over and over on this website about the girls who had abortions for all kinds of reason, but i hope you have time to think about your situation before you make a decision. Children are specail creatures in life and you may never forgive youself if you don’t make the right decision!! I hope whatever i have said has been the right things you needed to hear but i really felt touched by your post!! With lots of Love holly
Jonluver
Honey relax. It’s one of the scariest things in the world to go through. Even women who have been planning it their whole life and even those who have had a long journey to get pregnant, you know those who really, really, really, want a baby bad find themselves worring. They don’t think they can do it. I know because i’m olne of them.
I was 17 the first time i got pregnant. I ended up having a miscarriage at 8weeks. After graduating, getting a car, getting engaged and getting a house, we began to try. It took us 10 months to get pregnant again! (which isn’t very long when you think of couples who took 10 years or more to conceive). Everynight i think "What am i doing? I can’t do this! I’m not fit to be a mom! I’m so stupid." I’m so scared! But the truth is I CAN DO IT and so can you.
Fincally we are not doing good. I’ve decided it’s time to suck up my pride. I’m going to get as much goverment aid as possible.
We are moving out of our gorgeous house we i love and it makes me sad whenever i think about it. We are moving into apartments that go by your income. getting free government healt insurance. WIC, etc. there is so much help out there if you look for it. CAll birthright and ask them for that information.
One last story. It’s about this couple that i used to work with (my fiancee still does) She got pregnant a little of a year ago. She planned to have an abortion. But a week before her appointment she miscarried. Now you might be thinking that she was happy about it, but let me tell you something she was a wreck and they swore it would never happen again.
Well never say never. A month after her miscarriage she found herself pregnant again! This time she decided to keep the baby against her boyfriends will. We he eventually came around. She had a little baby girl on Sunday! I saw them today. They were on the highway coming home from the hospital (my fiancee and i were on our way to the mall). They looked so happy!!!! BOTH OF THEM!!!
I hope this helps. sorry it’s so long. Keep me posted!!scorpi266
Sweetie,
I know what your are going through, I was in your position back in January. I am 23 and have a fiancee that I been with for 7 years, we are still college students and have no money and we found ouselves pregnant. I also kept getting advice to abort and I did and it was the worst thing I have ever done. I regret it to this day, and I am 100% positive you will regret having an abortion also. I kept getting the feeling that even though it wasn’t the best time for me to be a mom I would still some how prevail…that I would make it work because I would do anything for my child, so I wouldn’t fail at being a parent, but I panicked and gave in and had an abortion, I never had a chance to prevail and see what I was made of, and my child never had a chance at life. The truth of the matter is that abortion does not erase anything, it leaves scars. You are probably stronger then you think, so find what you are made of and give your child a chance at life…that is a decision that you won’t regret.
Love,
FalonLoops, To begin, you’ve already done the correct thing which is make an appointment with the women’s center. They will cover much information with you and will explain the different options you have regarding pregnancy and childbirth. You mentioned that you wanted to keep this baby, but you have nothing. You do have something: a job, going to school, and a miracle growing inside you. There are resources out there to help you with this baby if keeping him or her is your choice. There is also adoption. Don’t let anyone make this decision for you. This is your body and your baby. And, you didn’t make a mistake. Unplanned pregnancies happen which is why there are plenty of resources available.
Dear Confused, This is my first time on this site and I was just taken with your posting. I know exactly how you are feeling and would like to share some advice with you – please don’t do it! Once upon a time in my life, I was pro choice and felt that women could abort and not think twice about it and move on. I was one of those girls…I have had 3. I was young, confused and angry once, thinking of only myself and that was all that mattered…ME. I never forget what I have done and always regret. I am happily married now and struggling to conceive with my husband – going on 3 years with no luck. Now in this struggle I find I have more health problems down there and may never be able to conceive! The feelings that you could experience by going thru with this are very difficult and something you will never get over. And like me, I reflect now and wonder what chance I will ever have again to be a mother. Abortion is selfish, plain and simple… I agree with the adoption idea. No one is ever ready to be a mother…I have a 3 year old step-son by marriage which I am definitely not ready for, but wouldn’t trade it for the world. You have forever to love that baby – which is so much better than wishing you had made a different choice. Take care of yourself, and good luck! You’ll be in my thoughts – B
you gave me advice so i’ll give you some. when you start thinking about having and abortion, just ask yourself one question. would i rather be responsible for ending life or giving it. i trust you to make the right decision, you just need to trust yourself to do the same.
~Alwayz~
Beautifull323
Hi. I’m 21 years old and I have three kids. I had my first when I was 17 and let me tell you it has been hard and sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn’t have kids, but I know I could never have had an abortion. I know how you feel about having to depend on other people. The father of my first two children went to prison when they were just 1 1/2 and 6 months and it was so hard b/cuz I had to work and take care of them and sometimes I didn’t even have time to take a shower. I always wanted to go to college but I haven’t been able to do that either. Sometimes I wish I would’ve waited, but having my babies was the right thing to do.
Ok, I’m just rambling, but I hope this doesn’t just make you think it’ll be hard. I love my children even if having them completely changed my life.
I know you may think having an abortion will make you happy, but let me share something else that happened to me. I don’t ever talk about it, but I hope it helps you decide to keep your baby.
About two years ago, I got pregnant again. I was so not happy and I even wished I would have a miscarriage and guess what? It happened. you think I would’ve been glad, right? But I was so crushed. I never thought I would be so sad that something I wanted actually happened, but it was terrible. I blame myself so much even though it wasn’t the same as having an abortion. I think it’s my fault for even wishing it. I still cry for the babies I’ll never have, b/cuz they were twins, girls. It makes me want to cry just writing about it.
Well, I’m gonna stop now b/4 I get really depressed. I hope this helps you think about your choice. It would be hard to keep your baby, but you’ll be glad you did. I would give anything to have mine.DONT get an abortion but always know adoption is an option you could do an open adoption meaning you can still have a relationship with the baby but you wont be living with the baby or caring for her/him.
i just found out last week i’m 5 weeks pregnant as well. just over the past week its amazing how much i’m in love w/this baby. my boyfriend and i freaked out at first, seriously discussed abortion and both admitted we’d never be able to live with ourselves if we aborted our child. i just graduated from college, he never finished, he has a job, i have nothing. we cried and stressed over how we could possibly make this work and at first it seemed that it never would. in just a week we’ve made changes, i’ve found 2 job possibilities and we’re going to make it. it’s going to be super tight, but we’re going to. once you make up your mind what you’re going to do, you realize that whatever hard work it takes it’ll be worth it…i’ll keep you in my prayers
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