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Anonymous
I would jus like to put my story up to see how people react to my story.
I had been with my boyfriend 1 yr and 6 months before we stared having sex , and we was both 14. We were stupid and didnt use contraception , n then i didnt come on my period n my friend sophie urged me to go to the doctors to make sure i wasnt pregnant. It was really early when i went the first time and they did a test but it came back negative , me and my boyfriend was so happy that we had managed to get lucky , they warned us it might be to early to tell but we were only thinking about the negative result.
Then i still didnt come on so i went back to the doctors again with my boyfriend who had been there for me the whole way through and it came back positive .. i cried my eyes out , there was no way i could have a baby , i had a life , a future . I couldnt bear to lose all of that .
I went to all the hospital apointments and stuff n then they gave me a date for my abortion ( 4 days from the time). During school hours and miles away from my home. I knw then i had to tell my parents.
I told them one night before i was due to go for the termination . My mum was amazing about it however my dad went mental.
I went for the termination and afterwards i felt groggy and had pulling acheing pains in my lower stomach.
Its been just over two months since my abortion and i feel like ive made the biggest mistake of my life, i feel guilty and the thought of what i have dun is killing me . Im not eating properly, im smoking more, i even slit my wrists when it all gets to much . My only reoson for life is my boyfriend who has stood by me the whole way , but sometimes hes not there and i feel so lonely. I never thought id face anything like this but now im in an emotional struggle that i fear will consume my life. I’m only 14 and i already feel depressed. I just hope that soon a ray of light will come into my life and make it more worthwhile. And that is the strand of hope i cling to when i feel like killing myself.
Kirstyhi kirsty,i hope everything is ok, and im glad that you came to this site to tell your story, i dont know if you have read mine, it was under "he pretends it didnt happen" my story is kinda like yours but im 4 yrs older. so im kinda in the same boat, i deff feel 4 u, and i know how it feels cause i had my termnation 2 months ago too. dont try and forget about your unborn, but you have to move on with your life, you cant dwell on the past, and your only a youngun, but i do understand us as females have the same feelings whatever age you are. but hun, dont try and commit suicide or anything like that cause remember your someones baby too! just think there are people out the is this big wide world that does care, and has been through the same things. i think u should talk to your mom more, i mean it was u and your body after all, it must have taken a toll on your small body. just tink positive, one day you and your boyfriend will have good carriers, a house, a car, then you can have kids. the things you need to porperly support a baby. look up babe. people care for you, and one day you will b blessed with another baby when your ready. please take care of yourself and if u need anyone to talk to im here i check this evryday, take care hun. keep your head up things will get better, its only been 2 months, an emotional things like this takes time. and remmeber your story can help someone else in this world.*hugs* Cherryz123 xXx
Post edited by: Julie, at: 2006/05/17 00:23
Kit
Kirsty,
I am sorry to hear about the pain and regret you are dealing with from your abortion. I understand that you were scared and you made a decision that you wish you could go back and change. Unfortunately it is not possible to go back and change the past, but it is possible to learn from the past and make better decisions in the future.
Seeking post abortion counseling from a group like Project Rachel might help. You can talk with other women and girls who have gone through abortion and are dealing with similar issues. Perhaps it will help. Also you might talk to Lisa of this site. She may have advice that would help.
Beating yourself up emotionally and physically will not change the past. I have dealt with depression and suicidal thoughts in the past. My good friend’s little brother committed suicide and he and his family were devastated. Seek counseling to deal with your depression. Please don’t hurt yourself!! You are not alone.
Kate
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