10 days

when i found out i was pregnant,i was alone in a foreign country. i was so scared. i decided to have an abortion, but after talking to my mom and realizing there was a way, when it came time i just couldnt do it. i stayed abroad until i started to show, and it was one of the hardest things i ever did. Out of fear for my safety, i told no one within the same hemisphere as me.things got better after i got home, and what i realized was that i would always have what-ifs, but the what ifs i have after the decision to keep my baby are alot easier for me to answer than if i would have aborted. my little one is now 10 days old and its by far the hardest thing ive ever done,we’ve cried together, my hormones are all out of whack, my c-section incision hurts,i have no friends in my new town, and sometimes i feel like giving up. but all it takes is a special look or the feel of her sleeping on my chest and it’s all worth it. i just have to keep faith that somehow i’ll be able to dig deep down and keep finding this strenth and courage i never knew i had.