The story of my life doesn’t flow like what I planned for it to be. I didn’t even expect to be a mom as early as my age right now. Because when I was young, I’d decided and planned for these things that if I graduated from college with a good job waiting for me, I would help my parents in return for the times they raised me.
But now things have changed. I finally now realize that I can’t control everything. You can’t even predict what could possibly happen tomorrow…
When I was just a kid, I told myself I wouldn’t want to have a boyfriend. But when my mom left to work abroad and left us to my old-generation-minded grandma, I then started to rebel… My mom is the type of person who if you ask anything, there are always some conditions… Doesn’t it suck to think that for every ask you make, you’ll do something first before u can get it? My mom is very different from my father… My father has a wide and long patience… I love my dad..so much… He’s the person whom I run to when me and my mom had an argument or something. She would hurt me or something… It’s horrifying! But I get used to it… Oh… I nearly forgot to mention my younger brother who just turned 14 this day… He’s a mama’s boy. In our family, I was considered the black sheep. I just laugh when my mom teases me like that… I just fake a smile… But behind those fake smiles that I make, my heart bleeds… I’m not the type of girl who usually cries. I might be sensitive, but I got a lot of pride… My teachers even compared me to my mom, which made me eager to improve and excel more… Just to prove to them I’m just the improved her that they haven’t discovered yet. I love to study… Yes, I do… Cause somehow, that time, they were my inspiration… My mom just ignores my efforts… Cause she’s busy with my brother.. I respect those who respect me also…
But as the calendars were slowly torn… There were lots of changes that happened… I in my second-year life of high school started to get in trouble… I tried to try those things that should be avoided… Including those intercourses, liqueurs, cutting classes, going to school late and going home late, watching pornographic scenes. Sometimes I lack sleep and I don’t focus on my studies anymore… I wish I could fix it.. but I can’t… Having 5 boyfriends at the time… But not all of them get all of me… I still have some respect for myself in spite of my messes… Then Mom went home last year from Dubai… I tried to be nice even though I’m not that comfortable having her around the house…but she’s killing me! Before going to sleep, she always gets my cell phone… There are lots of house rules for me! Does this include not making over myself??!! Come on! And one time, when we talked to each other… She told me that my uncle predicted that I wouldn’t graduate high school. I’ll be pregnant, and that serves as a warning for me…
But now. Yes! You’ve predicted it right! Here I am now, a struggling young pregnant lady… Nobody is helping me except for myself and my boyfriend financially…
