This time of year is called Advent. Advent is a Latin word meaning arrival, and in this context it refers to the arrival of Christmas. The period of time, which we are in right now, is characterized as a time of waiting because we wait for the arrival of Christmas.
Waiting is not something unique to Christmas time, though, we spend a lot of our time waiting. But I have found that one of the most important things that we should wait for is marriage and sex.
When thinking about marriage a lot of people take the “try before you buy” approach. That is, they live together before marriage to make sure everything “works” before they actually make a commitment. However, statistics show that living together before marriage often leads to greater instances of divorce as opposed to those who don’t live together before marriage. Waiting for marriage is a good choice!
Not living together before marriage is also a good choice because it allows you to know yourself. Sometimes people get attached to each other and they start growing together, this is not a bad thing altogether, but it is important to learn who you are first. Some say that your personality is not fully developed until you are 25! It is good to allow yourself to be a unique, individual person before wrapping your life around someone else’s.
In addition to this, waiting until marriage to have sex is another good choice. Sex is one of those things that is all about timing. Sex is good, but when the timing is off the consequences can be damaging. One of the best choices you can make for yourself now is to wait until marriage to have sex. When you choose to wait, you give yourself the opportunity to live life to the fullest, without having to deal with consequences. Consequences like, your parents finding out, contracting a sexually transmitted disease (1 in 4 Americans has one), or getting pregnant.
Many people believe that if they have already begun to have sex, there is no point in stopping now. The truth is, there is a point to stopping now and the point is that you respect yourself. You do not have to do what your boyfriend thinks you should do. You should do what YOU want to do. You don’t need a reason to decide to stop having sex; doing it for you is a good enough reason.
Many people also believe that they can’t stop having sex, even though they want to, because their boyfriend will leave them. But if that is the case, that means he is committed to you because he is getting sex. That is a poor reason to be committed to someone. You definitely deserve better than that!
Unfortunately, sex sometimes gets confused with love. Sex can be a very valuable way of showing love, but that is not always the case. If your boyfriend would leave you because there is no more sex, this is not real love—that is love of sex. Real love sticks around when there is no sex because real love is about you and not merely what you do in bed.
Waiting until marriage for sex is one of the best things you can wait for. Without waiting the joy found in arrival is often lost. Is there something you waited for that happened and completely surprised you? Comment below. I’d love to hear your story. Merry Christmas!