it all strted when i was 15. you know like every other young adult i wanted to party hang out just chill with my friends and not take any kind of advice from anyone. I NEVER THOUGHT THAT THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ME. I just had turned 15 a week ago when i got invited to this block party so i asked my mother and she said it was alright with her so i went. there was alcohol and peolpe were getting drunk and high and i had problems with drugs at the time and i thought that there was nothing or nobody that would stop me from doing what i was doing. when i got home my mom wasn't home but my aunt was waiting up for me. she yelled and screamed because of the type of person i had changed into that night. 2 weeks later i meet up with my boyfriend of 1 year and we were talking and he wanted to ask me the same question that was always asked are you: ready?  and everytime he asked me i would say no. but that day he told me he loved me and never wanted to see me suffer and go thru no type of pain and what ever, so some how he changed my mind and i said yes i was ready for sex. that night my mother wasn't home which it wasn't new because that's why i always felt so alone and not wanteed. that night i went home with him he was 5 years older than me. i asked him to wear a condom but he refused he said it was better without it so i thought i could trust him. 3 weeks later i never got acall or a text from him and i thought he would be busy or something, so i decieded to go by his house. the minute i knock on his door i knew something was going to go down. a woman opens up the door and looks at me asks me wat i wanted so i asked for joshua and she says he's taking a shower. i asked who was she and she says iam he's girl is that a problem? so i tell her that i was with him for 1 year and we never broken up. dat's when he walks down the stairs and looks at me and tell his new girl friend to go upstairs. all i n know i started to cry i din't want to because i knew i was stronger than than that but i was wrong . the only thing he could say was you was just a piece a meat the one inside is the one i want. i just ran home and cried all night.2 months  later  i was feeling sick and was lhungrier and had gained alittle bit of weight so i went to the clinic with my friend almost 2 hours later i found out that i was  7 weeks pregnant. i fell to my knees and started to cry. i didn't want this bab y i hated myself for letting that men get to me i wanted to take my life. my friend stood beside me and gave  me her shoulder to cry on and told me to take it easy even though it wasn't. 9 days after that i went to my EX-BOYFRIEND'S house to tell him the news and the chick was still there but i still was going to talk to him. i told him that he was my first and that he got me pregnant and all he said was it ain't mine so go blame some one else for your baby. all i wanted to do at dat moment was to jump on him and beat his u know wat because he really crossed the line there. so i walked away and left it all like dat. the hard part was telling my parents because i was only 15. 5 months into my pregnancy my mother got a real good look into my body and pulled to the side and asked if i had to tell her anything so i thought that was a good oppotunity to let her know wat was up.  when i told her all she did was look at me and cried she told me that she loved me and that she was up to anything and that she  was going to be there for me all the way.  i was asked if i was with the baby's father so i told her waht he did and what she said made me realize a whole lot. she said that i was an independent young woman and i was better than that and now i had something to keep me stronger and it was my unborn child. my friends stopped hanging out  me  with me exept the one that was there for me. the baby's father got 5 more kids by otheer woman and dying of aids. it's been a year a crazy stressful year but i got a healthy 1 year old baby girl. his family always been there for he even him after denying her. my mother quit her night job to spend every night with her granddaughter and as for me well iam in school taking care of her and moving on with life. because of my daughter iam stronger healthier and better.