Dear Becky,

I have been coming to your site a lot recently, looking for answers and encouragement. Sometimes I think I know what I should do, and at other times, I’m still at a complete loss. Here’s the situation:

I am currently 10 weeks pregnant. I am a sophomore in college, and will be working, going to school, and being Mommy if I end up having this child. I thought I would be ok, my boyfriend promised me he would be there. But now, he is completely out of the picture. He tells me he doesn’t love me, and continues to tear me down.

I have started to think that maybe I should just get an abortion and try to forget about all of this, even though I have never liked the idea of abortion before. I can’t say I’m completely attached to this child right now, but I know that further along into the pregnancy I would be. I just can’t help but feel that it isn’t right to bring a child into the world under these circumstances, and yet, I’m so afraid of abortion, and of all the emotional damage that could do.

I know that in the end, I am the only one who can decided this, but I was hoping for your opinion or some sort of inspiration.

Jasmine |

Hi Jasmine,

My name is April and I help Becky answer emails for Stand Up Girl. Thank you so much for writing.

You know, an abortion will not help you forget about anything.  The thing is, abortion will not solve your problems.  Abortion will add to your problems.You are not alone.  It is not uncommon for a boyfriend to ditch their girlfriend when he finds out she is pregnant, but a great many of them do return.  I cannot guarantee that he will, but many times after seeing their wonderful little baby all they want to do is be around him or her.

It sounds to me like you really don’t want to have an abortion.  I talk to a lot of people who have suffered the pain of abortion.  The emotional pain is great, but it is elevated when you are wavering in your decision.  You know, your pregnancy is easy to end now, but what if you want your baby back?  He or she will never return to you.  Abortion is not something that can be reversed and you have other options. Have you considered adoption?

Besides, you’re not alone in this even though you’re feeling all alone.  You have a wonderful little baby inside of you right now.  Did you know that your baby already has his or her hair color, eye color, approximate weight, height, and some personality characteristics determined?  That is right!  At this very moment your baby is a person.  A wonderful, little person that loves you very much.  You may not feel that you are not attached to him or her, but he or she is attached to you both emotionally and physically.

Don’t let the pressures of this world get you down.  You can get through this.  I know you would make a wonderful mother.

Feel free to write back if you have anymore questions or concerns.

Luv,

April

Hi April!

I don’t know if you remember my email or not, it was quite awhile ago. But I just wanted to give you an update…

I am still pregnant, about 5 months along now. And it’s a boy! I’m so excited for him. The father is still not involved, in fact he’s being worse than ever, and so mean, but I have amazing support from my mother, she’s so excited to be a grandma.

I ended up withdrawing from college and am now enrolled to start classes at a different college for the spring semester. I moved to a little apartment there that has a room for the baby, and I have a friend who lives in my apartment building that is my age and has a 7 month old little boy. She has been a blessing.

I am not sure what is going to happen with my baby’s father, I can only pray that he will realize what he’s missing and get his head on straight. But I guess if he doesn’t I will have a wonderful little boy to take care of and love.

I thank you so much for writing back to me when you did, and I appreciate your words about abortion. I’m glad that I didn’t decide to do that, I’m looking forward to being a mommy!

Love and God Bless,

Jasmine

Oh my gosh, it is so good to hear back from you.  You have just made my day.  Thank you so much for giving me an update.  I’m glad that you have gotten so much support from your mother.  That is so good. I know that you would be able to do this on your own, but it is good to have someone who is there for you through all this.

I am so glad that you decided to give your baby life. Yes!  I know that you will never regret it.  Way to go!  I am also glad to hear that you are making your way through college.  You really are a stand up girl!

Please, please, please write me back.

Much love,

April

Here is a list of additional resources you may find helpful:

Embryoscopy and Fetoscopy | Abortion Testimonials | StandUpGirl Podcasts