I am a junior in high school, popular, cheerleader. I live with my mom and she has always supported me in everything I do. My dad on the other hand, just married his 6th wife and, as usual, his children get booted out and the new wife and her family will move in. My father and I have just recently become closer and I know he wouldn’t be okay with the fact that I am 17 and pregnant. yesterday I went to the doctors for concussion symptoms from a cheer leading event, and she takes me into the other room and gives me the news..we told my mom and she is 100% supportive.
She wants me to have an abortion and I thought I did too, and I know that is what my boyfriend of 3 years wants too. I just don’t know now. I am in my 9th week, and out of curiosity I read about that point in a pregnancy and how the baby has elbows and bones are forming etc and it is killing me to know that in a few weeks time I may kill what I have created. granted I would never intentionally bring a child into this world knowing I couldn’t take care of s/he and give them the best life possible, it’s just not the right time but I don’t know how to cope with aborting this baby. Please do you have any supporting information or guidance for me? ANYTHING will help. Thank you so much, Monica.
Dear Monica, If your mom is truly 100% supportive then she will support you in your pursuits to parent your child….It may not happen right away, she may be very angry with you and do and say all she can to get you to have an abortion but it IS your choice right? If you want to choose life for your child then she cannot LEGALLY stop you….You are still a minor so she also cannot LEGALLY withhold provisional needs from you either….No threats like, if you don’t abort I will not pay for you to go to the dentist etc…things like that….As your parent she is OBLIGATED to provide your needs….She cannot force you into an abortion, she can drag you to a clinic kicking and screaming but they cannot TOUCH you or MAKE you do ANYTHING without YOUR approval….Many girls do not know this and they go through with the abortion just to make everyone else happy and it slowly kills them inside for the rest of their lives….I do not want that for you….Just give this time, make your decision, Stand Up for the life of YOUR child and press on for the most important journey yet in life! Here is a great resource that can help you with local help, http://www.optionline.org/ , enter your postal code into the site and it will give you the contact info for the closest Pregnancy Resource Center to you where you can get FREE and CONFIDENTIAL help….I know you can make it through this with or without the support of your mom, dad or bf….Many girls have done it before and in most situations, the mom WILL come around in the end and be the most proud and excited grandma ever! It won’t be easy but that is just life, we all have ups and downs and when we run from things that are consequences for our own actions, it just buries our problems and we never solve them! Embrace your child and learn from this situation and go on to better yourself as you love your baby!
Thank you soooo sooo much! This is so helpful to me, I went through the first day of not wanting a baby, the next day was would it really be a bad thing? and now I am just about sure that this is what god some way some how had planned for me … it is already killing me inside to even think of killing something so precious that so many people pray all their lives for, and I know this is my opportunity. Thank you again Becky, you’ve helped me more than you may know!
So is this a YES you are going to Stand Up and be a Mommy? I am so proud of you….Like I said, this is not going to be easy, its not like a fairy tale but you are right, Somewhere in the mix of things this is Gods plan for you….Maybe He would have wanted to bless you with this child later down the road in His perfect will for you but like me, you took your life into your own hands and made decisions that brought a baby a little sooner and I call that God’s permissive will….it was not His first plan for you but He also promises to work it all together for good and I promise you that He has done just that for me! The most important thing I learned and still practice to this day is that if I make a mistake or do something wrong…if I do my best to do the right thing after the fact God will step in and help me…Two wrongs don’t make a right. You take this first step of faith and God WILL move! I am here to help you along the way and I hope you will keep me informed….You should really visit that pregnancy center and have them help you write up a plan for the next several months, maybe showing your mom on paper, all the things you plan to do in spite of your circumstances will help change her perspective as well….
I agree completely , and I spoke to her about all of this and, yes I am going to be a mommy! We both agreed no one negative will be in my child’s life, or mine. Anyone who doesn’t want to be around is not needed, I truly believe everything will work out for the best…and I will keep you updated most definitely. There is a organization, a school actually that my mom thinks I should look into for senior year called, Project Teach, where I will be able to bring my baby with me everyday and there is day care while I have classes and I will also have classes everyday on parenting along with my baby, have you heard of this? I think it could be really great..anyways thank you so much for being here for me and I’ll keep you updated every step of the way!
Oh Monica, I am so happy!!! I am so glad for you that your mom is going to be by your side through this and Project Teach sounds like a great opportunity! I have heard of many schools with daycare’s, I think different states, towns, cities etc. each have their own programs, but I have no doubt that you will do well and that your positive outlook will help you stay on track!!! So do you know when your due date is?