Hey Becky,  This whole thing surrounding pregnancy is scaring me because when i read through the information provided by your site, i found more information on pregnancy and the worst part is that i’m now more scared than anything else.  i haven’t had sex with my boyfriend yet  and since reading thru this i’m so scared. Whats been scaring me about this whole pregnancy thing is the fact that so many people both close to me and those who i go to school with are falling pregnant and i was just thinking to myself how so many people could be pregnant at the same time? i mean, is preganancy contagious or what?

I would greatly appreciate it if you were to send me more information regarding pregnancy. Congratulations on having the best website ever… its way  cool…thanks!

Hi Sisipho – I’m Lisa from the Stand Up Girl website.  I’m sorry you are so scared.  What you are you scared of?  If you have not yet had sex, there is nothing to be frightened of. When you get married and you decide to have sex with your husband – pregnancy is a beautiful thing that two people who love each other will do together. Is that what you are afraid of?  Please let me know.

Luv Lisa 

Hey Lisa!  Thank you so much for getting back to me.  when you read my e-mail, you probably found it confusing but here’s the real story. whats been scaring me about this whole pregnancy thing is the fact that so many people both close to me and those who i go to school with are falling pregnant and i was just thinking to myself how so many people could be pregnant at the same time? i mean, is preganancy contagious or what? i just got so scared because now i was thinking that its like being pregnant is an “in thing” for teenagers. latest news now, a friend of mine who just started college fell pregnant in her second month of being a college student. i was so disappointed but have decided not to judge her because although she ma have fallen pregnant, she still needs my support. one more thing i wanted to ask was the issue of losing one’s virginity. don’t panic just yet, i’m still pretty set on losing my virginity when i get married but now the scary thing is that there are myths being created regarding this issue. i mean i have a friend who’s 16 but is super sexually active, mind you, her boyfriend is 10 years older than her but when i tried to point this out to her, oh no! i was called a bunch of names that are just to cruel to mention but that’s beside the point. we were busy talking but as usual i was listening and she said that when you lose your virginity you bleed and its sore and the longer you wait to lose your virginity the more painful its going to be. i mean, isn’t sex supposed to be special and shared with the person you love? not according to my friends its not, but still pain or not, i’ve decided to lose my virginity when i get married and besides wouldn’t want to break my mother’s heart or set myself up for heart break. i’d like to know more about this issue because the friends i have may know the word ‘values’ but i don’t really think they know its meaning. thanx again for e-mail, i’m now more inspired than ever.

love, sisipho

Ohhhh Sisipho – I cannot tell you how amazed I am and just taken by your wonderful e-mail.  I don’t think I remember ever reading such an inspiring e-mail from anyone on the Stand Up Girl website. Firstly can I tell you that you are an amazing Stand Up Girl.  You are exactly what this website is about.  Standing Up. Even in the face of those that don’t agree with you. Let’s talk about a few things.  Firstly – you are planning on saving your virginity until your wedding night and ohhhhhhhh what a special gift that you are going to GIVE to your husband.  You are not losing your virginity – you plan on giving it as a special gift, never having been unwrapped before, to a man that is going to be absolutely blessed! Beware my friend that when a guy knows that you intend on saving it until marriage – many will do what they can to take it from you.  Though even some may try that with the best intensions.  Saying they love you, or he will spend the rest of his life with you.  Even being engaged to be married is a difficult time to save yourself…  BUT please please know that it is so worth it!  Let me put in a story form . I love visuals . I hope you do too.

Let’s say that you give your mom her favorite perfume for a Mother’s Day gift.  Before you give it to her you use a little before you go out on Friday.  So you unwrap the gift and spray a little on and re-wrap the gift and you go out. Then the next morning you are going to  B-fast with some friends so you unwrap the gift once again and you spray a  little more on and re-wrap the gift.  By now the paper is getting a little torn and the tape is not so sticky any more.  Then that night you are going out with some friends so you unwrap the gift again and spray some on.  Your friends would like some to so you pass the bottle around to 3 of your girlfriends.  They all 3 lavish a spray or 2 or even 3.  You re-wrap the gift.  Now the package is showing through a little bit and you have to hold the tape in place to hold the package together.  Before you go to your moms to give her the gift you think … one more spray.  You re-open, spray some on and the re-wrap it.  You go see your mom and give her this gift. She receives it, and kinda looks at you funny.  She unwraps the gift as the paper falls off pretty easily and the perfume bottle is 1/4 empty.  She LOVES the gift because it is from you; she enjoys every drop of it even though 1/4 of the bottle is empty.  Right But what if you gave her that same gift freshly wrapped in her favorite color wrapping with a big beautiful sparkly bow on it.  You give her the perfume and it is so beautifully wrapped she has a hard time even finding where the paper is taped together.    In both cases she so appreciates the gift – but which way would you prefer to give it to her? The same with your precious body – save it until the wedding night.  Save the wrapping and the beautiful bow just for the man that not only loves you enough to marry you, but also respects you enough to wait. Your virginity is a gift that is precious.  Do not worry about what others say or think. They may, for right now, think that it’s crazy you don’t just give it away.  But you will get to walk down that isle on your wedding day able to wear white for all the right reasons.  Love your future husband enough to save that gift for him.

And also – yes sometimes on your first time there may be bleeding.  This is because there is a flesh ‘covering’ (hymen) that can be broken only one time.  No it does NOT hurt more the longer you wait.  I’ve never heard of such a thing.  That’s like saying “If you get your ears pierced when you are 16 it’s less painful than when you are 26.”  Sounds crazy right?  Exactly! So Sisipho, you keep standing for what is right.  It may be a difficult road. Purity. But it’s worth it.  This is YOUR body and you have every right to not just pass it around like an old bottle of perfume. I have a cool link for you too.  It’s got some really cool jewelry called TLW (True Love waits).  Check it out http://www.factory79.com/  Keep me posted and let me know how you  are doing from time to time.  OK? Take care

Luv, Lisa

Hey hey! Thans so much for making it all clearer now.  Now i am actually much more excited to wait. And honestly speaking there are times when i feel the pressure but its nothing a few deep breaths can’t fix.  I spoke to my boyfriend today and he is willing to wait. I told him that i know its going to be hard waiting that long but he says he is willing to wait for me. We have been actually dating for 5 months now, this month being our 6th and i never knew having a crush on someone for 10 years was possible until he finally told me that he loves me. With me and him its like we have bin best friends forever but as time went by we grew to love each other more and i really do love him.

Sisipho