I am almost 15 years old and me and my boyfriend have not yet had sex but we want to but we also want to have a baby RIGHT KNOW. And i want to know if that is the right way to go. I know I probably soound stupid because I mean no 14 year old in there right mind would want to get preganant but I do and so does my boyfriend for 1 year adn 3 months. I mean I absoulutly love kids and always have…

Hello my name is Kendra I am almost 15 years old and me and my boyfriend have not yet had sex but we want to but we also want to have a baby RIGHT KNOW. And i want to know if that is the right way to go. I know I probably soound stupid because I mean no 14 year old in there right mind would want to get preganant but I do and so does my boyfriend for 1 year adn 3 months. I also wantt o finish school and go to college. I have been planning on how to tell my dad and mother when I do get pregnant but I really want to know if I should and I want to know how much responsibility it will be becuase I mean I absoulutly love kids and always have but I don’t know wether I should or not and I know if I dd my dad would blow a cork but my mom would understand because she got pregnant at 14. So please tell me should we or shouldnt we?      

Dearest Kendra

hi, I’m Lisa and I’m from the Stand Up Girl website. 

You know what Kendra – no you are NOT being stupid. Feelings are not ever stupid. Those maternal feelings are so perfectly natural – and your feeling them is natural. BUT – planning on having a baby right now … I would say (please with all due respect) is really not a good idea right now.  I’m so glad you asked. You know what I really think is the best idea? Enjoy being 15 and then enjoy being 16 and do the things that you can do to prepare to be a mommy after becoming a wife first. 

You know why? Because a baby truly is not only a big responsibility and takes every minute of your time, but a baby is an expensive undertaking.  Let’s do this … go to the supermarket .. or to a Babys ‘R’ Us store and pretend like you are shopping. Grab a large package of diapers because you will be changing a diaper probably about 4 times a day.  So… 4 diapers a day (roughly), 7 days a week. That is 28 diapers.  So, put enough in your basket to last you 2 weeks. Then you need baby formula. That goes really fast. Then bottles, baby clothing (which doesn’t last long because babies grow fast!), bottle nipples, all the items for diaper changing … powder, baby wipes and so forth. 

Really – the reason why I suggest this? It is because we all want a little baby so badly. A baby to love, a baby will be so adorable and I would love to hold my very own baby and care for him/her. Kendra, in due time you will, but you really want to have a husband that supports you. A husband that says when you are so tired one night when the baby is crying “Honey, I’ll get up and feed or change the baby, you sleep.”  Another reason is … if you want to share and show love for a baby, you should have a mommy AND a daddy there and ready to love and to care for him/her. You would want to experience pregnancy WITH the man that loves you and is truly excited to have the baby with you. 

If you have a baby now, you will have to bypass all the wonderful things of 16, 17 and 18 year old stuff.  Prom night, graduation and hangin’ out with your friends, a wedding day as you look forward to starting a family with your husband rather than you have a ready-made family.  And Kendra – you are a virgin.  This is the most special gift that you have to give to your husband one day. You can only give that away once. Please don’t waste it. If I had it all to do over again – I would have saved myself for my wedding night.

The wonderful man that I married – neither one of us were virgins – but we did wait until our wedding night before we made love. There is so much more in a relationship to learn . and quite honestly, I had been so tired of being used and thrown aside as if my giving my body meant absolutely nothing. I got tired of it so I finally said, no more! I am now saving my body until my wedding night and if a guy doesn’t like that . then he’s not for me. Because True Love Waits! I met the man of my dreams and he said “Of course we will wait until the wedding night.” Now I’m not saying it was really easy. It wasn’t but it was worth it! So my first time with my husband was on our wedding night. 

Kendra – I would say wait to have a baby. Babies are adorable, but it truly is best when you have a husband standing by your side.  Something I might suggest … get a tiny puppy and begin with caring for a puppy, give the puppy your time and you can pay for all the puppies food and feed it and care for it. That’s still a big responsibility – don’t you think?  You know what I would suggest for you? Kendra – stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself. You are a very special and precious jewel.  You have some good years of youth ahead of you and PLENTY of time to plan a family. Do it all in order. Do it in a way that is healthy and won’t take the agony of thought like it is for you now. 

Imagine this . you miss your cycle. You think “Ohh, I could be pregnant”. You take a home pregnancy test . it’s positive. How are you going to tell your dad? How would you tell your mom? How will they react? How would you go to school and deal with the girls at school? Then you have your baby. 2:00am your baby cries, 4:00am your baby cries and 6:00am your baby cries and you have to go to school! You hope that your bf keeps his work so you can comfortably afford diapers. Your boyfriend isn’t even there to help you throughout the night with the crying baby because you both still live at home. 

OR 

You plan your wedding and you walk down the isle . proudly wearing white.  And you can . because you have saved yourself for this man. Then you have a wonderful honeymoon and you enjoy living a wonderful married life for about a year. Then after being married for about 1½ years – you miss your cycle. Ohhh you are so excited, you take a home test. It’s positive.  Woopie! Who do I tell first? Mom is so excited she’s ready to go out and get baby clothes already. Dad holds his head up in pride. His baby girl is pregnant. Your husband beams with pride. He’s going to be a daddy!  As your tummy grows – he’s there for every kick. He talks to your tummy regularly before you both go to sleep. He’s there for the birth and you call your mom … she’s there too.  In birth – in each case – would be amazing. But which scenario sounds more like the kind you’d like?  All this to say – things really can be done in order. I want to encourage you . to save yourself for your wedding night. You can only have your 1st time once. Won’t you save yourself for that man that is committed to loving you ‘until death do you part’? 

Let me know what you think. I’m only a keystroke away. OK? 

Luv Lisa 

Dear Lisa,

Thank you; you know most people would tell me not to and why and I wouldn’t listen to them but I actually agree with you and I know what you are saying and you have actually caught my attention and I know that i should wait. Your a great person and you help all these gurls with there unexpected pregnancys and help them get through it u adn Becky are truly my idols and my heros thank you for changing my mind and saving me from having a baby at such a young age

Sincerely, Kendra