So here I am once again thinking about this when I have other things to do.
I don’t know if I love my son. I picture myself with my future children but not him. The last time I saw him, I remember looking at him and thinking about how sad he looked. I seem to be unable to stand anybody touching me but I remember letting him touch me and holding him and wondering what he was thinking. People say he looks like me but I can’t see any resemblance. All mothers seem to love their babies but I just can’t. I actually don’t love anyone and I don’t think I will ever be able to. I feel like I should keep him because it’s the right thing to do but is it? What can I live with? I can’t help but think that if I were to give him up, I would never think about him again. I think I would be a horrible mother to him.
The last time I saw him, he looked sadder than any 4 year old should. He reminded me of me and how sad I always feel. It’s like he knows about all the bad things that happened in his short life and he’s thinking of all the things that are yet to come. I shouldn’t think so pessimistically when I think about him. I just wish he would smile more often. I wish I could make him smile
I want him to be happy and I want to be happy and I know its not his fault that he came into this world the way he did but it might be easier if he weren’t here. I feel such disgust when I think about his dad and I don’t want to project that on to him.
I possibly just need to get over myself and stop being selfish. But I am too young to be thinking about such things.
I need to work harder and learn to love him. Who knows, maybe once we have a new start just me and him and none of the past things will get better.
I am glad I didn’t have an abortion because its wrong to kill a child but I can’t help thinking it would be easier because I wouldn’t be able to screw up his life
Hi, I am currently in year 12 at school as part of an assignment I am researching the effect of a teenage pregnancy on an individual’s wellbeing. Below are some questions and I would really appreciate it if you could answer them!
1. How old were you when you became pregnant?
12-14, 14-16, 16-18, 18-20
2. How do you think age affected your pregnancy?
3. How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?
Overjoyed Angry Disappointed Afraid Heartbroken
4. Did the father of the baby stay in the picture?
Yes No
5. How did this affect you?
6. How did you feel physically during the pregnancy, birth and after the baby was born?
7. How did you feel emotionally?
8. What affect did this have on your overall wellbeing?
9. How did you manage financially?
10. How did this affect you and your decisions?
11. How often do you attend social engagements?
Always Often Sometimes Never
12. How does this affect you?
13. Did you turn to any religion or spiritual guidance throughout your pregnancy?
14. Did you seek support from anyone other than family or friends?
Yes No
15. If you had another chance, would anything be done differently?
Please help!
Nothing could ever come between us
Even when we are apart you’re still with me
If the ship was sinking
I know you would not let me drown
If everyone on earth was gone
I would still have you here with me
With the last breath that I take
You would be right beside me
Every step that I take with you
My heart is stronger every minute
Without you, I don’t know what I would do
You’re everything to my heart
Having you as my love means the world to me
I just had my first ultrasound April 28th.
When I went in for my first visit, the OB felt my uterus & told me I felt about 8 weeks. So, thinking all I’m going to see on my ultrasound was a little peanut, I went in & had it done. When the Ultrasound Tech turned the screen, she says “Well, you’re farther along than we thought.” My lil baby had arms, legs, fingers, toes, and was kicking around like CRAZYY (probably b/c all I had that morning was Mountain Dew & jelly beans 🙂 haha. So, she told me I was 11 1/2 weeks… and I couldn’t be happier!!
I never thought I could fall in love soo fast!!!
I’m 16yrs old and 5 1/2 months pregnant.
When I told my baby’s father I was pregnant, he said pece out. This has been the hardest experience in the life but I have gotten used to it. I would have never even considered abortion even though my Jayden Glenn was unplanned. I love him more than anything in this world. Jayden is the reason I get up every morning, the reason I’m still in school, trying to graduate. My baby’s father isn’t here for me one bit. He doesn’t even claim Jayden. Nut as days go by, I make things better for myself cuz I have to now for my son ;]
For girls who are pregnant and thinking about abortion, to be honest, my son has been the best thing in my life and I wouldn’t imagine a day anymore without wondering what he is going to look like, and how much he is gonna brighten up my day. You don’t need a man to be there for your child. It is hard but things get better with time <33
Always keep your head up and think of better days.
I am 17 and four months pregnant and i have not yet been to the doctors. For the last four months i have been contemplating on having an abortion. I wanted an abortion because i was afraid of what other people might think. It is my senior year and i didn’t want to go to prom and graduation looking like a blow up balloon.I was afraid that i wouldn’t be able to support the baby and that my mom and dad would hate me. To make the situation worst i live with guardians and not my real parents. Everything that i do wrong their solution is to send me away.
I was pregnant once before when i was raped by a guy on my job. I didn’t tell anyone but my boyfriend that i was raped and might be wit child. I had been raped several times before then and had never said anything about it. But being with child i had no choice. When i told them they tried to force me into getting an abortion and decided after the school year was over i would go live with my real Dad.
I decided that i wasn’t going to have an abortion because regardless of how the baby got there it was a gift from GOD. I had planned to give it up for adoption because i didn’t want to see the face of my rapist when i looked at my child. Even though adoption was going to be hard for me i had to do something.
When i was two going on three months i had a miscarriage. It was the worst thing that could have ever happened. I cried for weeks on end about it. My boyfriend was there every step of the way. He promised me that when i had a child that it would be special. Having his own child already at the age of 18 i believed him. His son is his pride and joy.
This time i am pregnant by him and i didn’t feel as if it was special at all. before i was with child him and i got into an argument that ended our relationship. He got with someone else’s shortly after and she was 24. When we were together he told that she was his “cousin”. Later on i found out that she wasn’t really his cousin but his cousins best friend. it broke my heart when i found out that she was staying the night at his house and that they took pics together to make a long story short him and i got back together at the end of December. By the end of January i knew that i was pregnant and i was happy.
One day i was going to my business class and i heard a guy yelling to a girl out of a car “go head sexy with ya bad self”. When i turned to look it was him my suppose to be boyfriend. He had dropped this girl off. when he seen me he had on the dumb face. I smiled and continued to walk and could only think about my unborn child. I didn’t want to deal with him anymore. I was hurt and decided that i wanted to have an abortion. I told him that i was with child and was having an abortion and that was the end of the conversation.
In my mind i knew that i shouldn’t punish my unborn child. So for months i contemplated on what i was going to. I didn’t have the money for an abortion. So i started hitting myself in the stomach. I also would drop weights on it and other dumb things.
One day during school my babies father told me that he wanted me and the child to stay and that he was sorry for all that he had done.
I stopped hitting myself but i still hadn’t gone to the doctors. afraid that they might tell me about all the damage that i had done. Also afraid that my guardians would find out.
Just the other day i found out that along with me the “cousin” that he was dating only for three months was also pregnant. My heart was crushed, the first thing i did was hit myself in the stomach. I didn’t want my child to be his third child and be treated like sloppy seconds. I didn’t want anyone to know that i was pregnant by such a jerk. all i could do was cry.
Now being almost four months abortion was no longer an option. Even though he wants i t and is willing to take care of it i wanted a family. This just wasn’t what i expected. What was he thinking? how many months was she? Had he just found out about this or had he known the whole time? why was she a 24 year old having sex with an 18 year old anyway? My life is in ruins. most of all How is he an 18 year old going to take care of 3 children with no job?
ALL these questions began to run through my head. I felt sorry for me and my child. I thought by hitting myself i would end the child’s pain and mine. I didn’t want to deal with the situation that set before me. The man that i loved and planned to marry had screwed me over once again. the girl he screwed me over with is now about five months pregnant with his child.
Currently i am still four months but i have decided that i want my child. I am scared that it might already be dead or that it will come out with defects. I have been so stupid and selfish. I might have ruined the only thing that i live for. I have always wanted a child and i might have killed it with my own hands. My heart is shattered. I can’t stop crying.
I started looking for a job and a house. I go to the doctors sometime this week for the first time. I can only hope that my child is ok and that the damage i have done can be undone. If anyone out there is going through the same thing please i encourage you to not do what i have done. I regret it everyday, hopefully GOD will give me another chance to make this right with or without my child’s father. I PRAY THAT NO ONE MAKE THIS MISTAKE EVER AGAIN.
Love unforgivable
