Hi… I’m 23. I have just found out that I’m 7 weeks pregnant…
Although my initial reaction was to have an abortion…as I’m not with the father and I never considered even having children… I have always done a lot of traveling and wanted to go and travel some more so it just didn’t seem the right time to have a child in my life… But after having a consultation for an abortion and talking about it, it made the whole process seem real and I’ve decided to go ahead with this baby..
Although the father is really supportive, I mean we have been seeing each other since September on and off. We got on, but there just wasn’t that complete spark there…
So it just hasn’t worked out… He wants to be completely involved with the baby…
I think he forgets that I’m the person carrying this child. He’s talking about him, his family, and the baby, kind of talking down to me… Well, you won’t be able to be on your own with the baby at first… Just makes me believe maybe I can’t do this… My family is completely supportive…and would back me whatever…
I’m just a bit lost at the moment with what to do (again)…
x
why did u hurt me? you were like my brother i’ve known you since i was 5 why couldn’t you just go away u knew it was wrong. y did u rape me for 3 years? I WANT TO KNOW. i was 9 when u started u were 24 what was wrong with u?. you lived/worked with my dad u were like his son and now look what u did. what is your reason? i was a kid you were a man. when i was 11 i had a bf i love him and still do i still see him i know u hate him. y do u hate him? Because u thought i was sleeping with him but hes not like u he would never force himself on me. Alan i told u stuff i’ve never told anyone and then u turn around and rape me u use what i told u hurt me in so many ways. then u beat the crap out of me when i tell u i think im pregnant. 2 hours you beat me and told me to say i fell down the stairs outside. well look now ur in prison for 4 to 8. And I have a wonderful baby boy who i love to death. if u think u will get to see him ur wrong u will never see him. you do drugs and u drink 24/7 u will have to kill me in order to see MY son. i hope u are happy where u are.
I’m 17 years old. I have a year-old son named Logan and I’m pregnant with twins.
IDK what to do. I’m really scared, but I can’t just leave my babies with no mother. So I’m keeping them and if you want to know anything else bout me, just let me know.
I have decided on aborting.
I’m somewhere between 12-16 weeks. At times, I feel as if though I have waited too long to proceed with what I have set my mind to. I’ve dealt with the crankiness, my body is going through unexpected changes, backaches, cramping, the works, to put it all in a nutshell.
Still, with all of this, I am afraid, just of the process in general…
I’m writing this for my own closure.
I found this site before I aborted my baby. I read a couple of things on here, but I didn’t want to read a lot. I knew what I had to do and it was to get rid of this baby in my stomach. I was in denial for so long. I didn’t want to believe I was pregnant. I always had this small feeling in my head that hell, I could never get pregnant. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, we never had protected sex. I was on birth control for a couple of months but stopped for a really dumb reason. I never had a ride to go up to Planned Parenthood to refill my BC. My last period was November 6th. When December came rolling around and I still had no period, I started to go out of control. I thought maybe the more pills I ate, the more alcohol I consumed, the less likely I would be pregnant. I was immature. I don’t know why I thought I could just kill something that was meant to be growing inside me. My boyfriend and I both knew I was pregnant. We talked about it sometimes, but it was never a major concern. Until the beginning of January. I stopped drinking on December 30th. I started to feel love for this child. I started eating healthy and stopped smoking. I was constantly researching about FAS, it was constantly crossing my mind what a beautiful baby we could have had. But I messed up. I poisoned the most precious thing ever given to me. I did not believe in God until this baby started affecting me. The first 3 months of being pregnant are the most important, and those were the months I did the most damage. I did drugs, I drank. I ate barely enough to support my own body, let alone a growing baby. I started staying in my house, hating myself more and more every day. I’ve always self-injured, but it started to spiral out of control. I would hurt myself. I wanted to keep this baby, but it wouldn’t have been healthy. I know if I had stepped up and taken responsibility for this child, my boyfriend and I would be happily planning for our baby to come into this world.
Now all I do is write notes to my little baby. I believe she was a girl, you know, motherly instinct. I pray for her night after night. I cry every day, wishing that a healthy baby was still in my belly. When I do have kids, I wish they would be half as wonderful as my little girl would have been.
I got back from my boyfriend’s yesterday after staying there the weekend and over Valentines Day. He lives pretty far away now, so it’s every couple of weeks I see him. In many ways, I had the best ‘holiday’ ever.
I was excited and happy to go and see him, but ecstatic about spending time with his 9-week-old baby sister. I had a wonderful long weekend and he really treated me – we went out for a few drinks Friday night after I got there, then on Saturday, had an early Pancake Day and went out for a meal at a Thai restaurant which was beautiful and delicious, then got rather ‘tipsy’ that night with his mum! And then went to the cinema and a quick bite on Sunday. What we did together was wonderful. It was nice to know we still have a strong bond after everything we’ve been through, and everything we’ve put each other through.
Yet on Saturday night, I started crying with my boyfriend – being around his sister and taking care of her was overwhelming. I knew what a great mummy I would have been… So his mum came in and explained that I needed to stop blaming him. She has had 2 abortions, so in a way she understood, yet her circumstances were different. I felt like we weren’t the same, and each person is different in that some people feel regret and some relief. I feel like I’m being pushed to get over something I’m not over yet.
Anyway, his little sister. Oh my goodness. She had grown so much since I last saw her, and what was better was that his mum said I had a free pass to pick her up if I liked and to look after her. It was nice that she was around a lot more than last time, where they pretty much stayed in the bedroom. During the weekend, I got lots of cuddles, I fed her, and I looked after her all on my own, making her smile… Making me smile inside and out. I’m so desperate. I shouldn’t be, but I feel like I’m missing out now. I feel like I’ve let go of this beautiful thing that could have been mine… This perfect thing that I saw on that screen yet was still persuaded to lose. He always says how his mum often seems to get stressed and can’t cope, yet I feel like, even though I realize it would be stressful, I’d be so grateful to have what she has. She’s tiny, she’s something that was made out of love. And she’s perfect… And I need that.
At one point a few weeks ago, I’d BEGGED him to try again, to make it real this time and to plan it. He says we’re not ready. In many ways, we’re not, and I’m not writing this to get young mums to respond that it is a big commitment – I understand that! But I think I have more reason than any young, underage girl who simply wants a baby because it’s ‘cute’. I’ve seen my child on a screen, I’ve seen my child come out of me on my sanitary towel. I’ve buried my child. Nothing can replace it, I know that. But there’s something that can make up for the loss I feel and the unhappiness I’m experiencing, where nothing else can console.
