Pregnant Again!

by | 2010 | Real Stories

I’m 24yrs old and I’m 9 weeks pregnant and truly confused whether r not i should go through with this pregnancy. I’ve always been against abortions and have always talked my friends out of getting them. It is easier said than done though. When its actually “U” in the messed up situation its hard to […]

I’m 24yrs old and I’m 9 weeks pregnant and truly confused whether r not i should go through with this pregnancy. I’ve always been against abortions and have always talked my friends out of getting them. It is easier said than done though. When its actually “U” in the messed up situation its hard to not consider it. Here’s the situation!!! I actually have a 6 month baby boy and now i find out that i’m pregnant again so soon. I was supposed to get on birth control right after having my son but was confused at first about the method i wanted to use and then eventually kind of forgot about it. Huge Mistake! I have a lot of support taking care of my son but i couldnt imagine telling my family that I am pregnant again. I just cant bear disappointing my parents. There expecting me to go back to college next semester and I know if I have this baby there’s a huge chance thats out of the question.
As for my baby’s father, he’s all for the abortion. Financially we just cant afford another baby right now. And on top of things we r currently not together. I just found out he was cheating on me AGAIN! I forgave him before but dont know if can do so again. I actually found out that he was unfaithful to me during the entire length of my pregnancy. I cant imagine going through all the stress all over again. He was so unsupportive at that critical time in my life. I just have the feeling that he’s going to drive me out of my mind during this pregnancy also.
In my heart i know i can go through this pregnancy but Im scared I will b neglecting my son eventually. i know im going to get to the point where its going to b difficult for me to take care of him like i should and i am so afraid of that. I want to be the best mom I can possibly b to him and i feel like i wont b able to if im pregnant. But then again, i also feel like i’ll b choosing one child over another. But that’s my baby’s brother or sister. And who am i to decide who gets to live and who does not? It couldve easily been my son who is already here that im trying to abort and i cant imagine my life without him. I have so many What ifs? What if this my only other chance of having another child and i really want a girl also, so what if this is my only girl? Its just so confusing. I feel like if God didnt think I could do it he wouldnt have put me n this situation. Basically i just dont want anyone judging me. I’m unemployed, not n school, unmarried, and have a 6 month old baby. WOW!!!
Please someone help me make a decision I’m completely confused!

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