Dear Jewel-
I’m so confused and don’t know what to do. I think I’m a month pregnant as I have been experiencing a lot of pregnancy symptoms. I haven’t told my boyfriend, as we are experiencing major problems and he is with another woman. I’m not ready to be a parent as I’m 19 and in college, but I do believe that kids are a great gift and love them, but actually I don’t how to tell him and my parents. He is with another woman, but I don’t want him to choose me because of the baby.
Hi,
That is a really hard situation to be in. You are not alone, though, okay? I am here to walk through this with you and help you out in any way I can:) Take a deep breath…try not to jump too far ahead. First of all, have you missed your period? If you have, then take a pregnancy test…then at least you’ll know for sure what is going on. And then you can go from there.
Here is a website that you can go to that will help you find a Pregnancy Help Center near you…
Go there and type in where you live. A list of places in your area should come up on the screen. Contact one of them and they will be able to give you a FREE and confidential pregnancy test. Please keep in touch and let me know how everything goes with that, okay?
Hi Jewel,
I took a pregnancy test and yes I’m pregnant and this was my worst fear, but then its done…now I’m actually confused and don’t have anyone to talk to , I am just all alone.
Hi again,
Good for you for taking the test. I know it’s scary. It’s almost like you don’t want to know, so you put off taking the test. At least that’s how I was. So how are you doing with everything, now that you know for sure that you are pregnant? Have you told anyone (besides me) yet?
Hi Jewel,
Well I don’t really know for sure how I feel because one minute I’m fine with everything and the next I’m crying about it. Its just that I love my baby in me, but its just gonna put my life on hold as I am supposed to finish my honors degree next year. If I keep the baby I will have one year added to my studies, so I just don’t know if its worth it. I did tell my boyfriend only and he is still in shock, but I just get the feeling that he does not care about this baby or me actually.
How are you doing lately?
Well my boyfriend asked me to do an abortion. I have not been coping well with the situation.
Hi-
Oh how my heart goes out to you…that sounds really hard to deal with. I know what you are going through…at least somewhat. I remember having this really sinking feeling when I missed my period. I had all the pregnancy symptoms. I knew, even before I took the pregnancy test, that I must be pregnant. My periods were usually so regular. I finally got up the nerve to take a test…and sure enough it turned out positive. 🙁
Then I remember lying awake so many nights, trying to figure out what to do. I was terrified to tell anyone. No one was expecting to hear news like this from me. Never in a million years. This definitely wasn’t part of my plan.
Finally I got up the courage to tell my parents. My dad yelled and my mom cried…not sure which reaction was worse. 🙁 Over time, though, they ended up being very supportive, though. When my little girl was born, you should have seen my dad…he seriously was the proudest grandpa ever. It was so amazing to see. Do you think it would be any easier to break the news of your pregnancy by writing your parents a letter?
I have not once regretted my decision to have my baby and raise her. She has brought more joy into my life…and into this world than I ever could have imagined. Yes, I’ve been through many ups and downs through it all..but it has been SO ENTIRELY WORTH IT. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Seriously. I’ll never forget the moment when I got to hold my little girl in my arms for the very first time. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I just stared and stared at her. She was so perfect, so tiny…so beautiful.
You CAN do this, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t…even your baby’s father. Definitely don’t make the decision based on what he thinks. Make the decision for you and your baby. I have talked to so many girls who have deep, deep regrets after choosing to abort their baby. And you what’s really sad? Often times the guy leaves her anyway, even if she does go through with the abortion. You don’t want to be there.
You feel a love for your baby already, and that love is only going to grow. 🙂 And you can still go on to achieve all your dreams. You really can. I have talked to so many girls who say they actually went on to do even MORE than they had planned because they had someone else to do it for…their child.
Stand strong…be true to yourself. And you will have a deep peace, knowing that you are doing something so worthwhile…so worth doing.
Please keep in touch, okay? You are not alone…I am here anytime you need someone to talk to.
Hi Becky,
Its been difficult but I have managed and I decided to keep my baby even though the father is not happy and not supportive about my decision, but I have accepted that I am gonna raise my baby as a single parent. I have also told my friends and they have been so supportive ever since the first day, but then I have not told my parents yet… but plan to do so after my exams in a months time. I am actually so excited about having this baby and I have had this feeling I have never felt before and now I am 3 months and 3 weeks. I am just taking one day at a time, but I’m so happy about my decision and would not wish to change it. I can just say that I am enjoying my pregnancy so far…
Wow! I am so happy to hear that you decided to keep your baby.:) Good for you for following your heart… for standing strong. 🙂 I’m sorry to heart that your baby’s father has not been there for you. That is so sad. Sad for him, because he won’t get to share in the joy of parenting this new little baby. I’m glad to hear that your friends are being supportive. That is so great. It will make a huge difference to have them by your side through everything. Have you been to see a doctor yet? It would be a good idea to go and see one, just to get a check up, and all the info on health and nutrition for you and your baby. Thanks for writing back to me. I’m just so happy for you!! Keep in touch, okay? I would love to hear how everything is going along the way. 🙂
