Hey. I have been through a lot in life.

My parents… Never there… I have been with my grandma since I was almost one. She is very sick and I hate to say this, but probably doesn’t have much time until she goes home. Me and my fiancée are in deep love, but he still lives with his mom. We are only 15 though. My baby is due September 23 and it is really hard being how I lost our last baby. I am always depressed and blaming myself. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely happy about this new baby. I can’t wait for him/her to get here, but what did the last do to deserve to not make it? I keep thinking back trying to figure out what I did wrong with the last one and trying not to make the same mistakes…. I will die if I lose another baby. Everyone keeps telling me “Just stay positive.” I can only be positive for so long….. I ain’t the type to keep things bottled up inside….. I love this baby with all my heart and I am going to do everything I know to do to be able to control not being able to lose it. It can be hard, I know. I have three nieces and two nephews. I helped raise all of them. I know I can do it and I know my fiancée can, but does it have to hurt so bad? Will I ever get over it? I hope so. But for now, I am going to keep this little miracle as safe as possible and so will my fiancée!!

I will keep everyone updated. Thanks for your time! :))