Well, where do I start? Maybe I'll start by saying how bad I can't wait to become a mother. Maybe I should start off by saying that maybe pregnancy isn't meant for everyone. Or maybe I should start with saying I that I'm less of a woman now,… and just as I'm regaining my spirit, it happens to me all over again. Or maybe I should start by blabbing off about how pregnancy and motherhood is what I used to want and dream for. Now…however…I've slowed down with EVERYTHING…things have changed!
Lately, I haven't been having sex, or smoking weed….NOTHING! I'm healthy, I've been relaxed lately, not all stressed out, and just when I started thinking…"Hey maybe I don't need a baby right now…I realize that there's a chance I might be expecting…again!" Well, I've lost two babies that I deliberatly planned for (it was all out of spite, so "oh well"…). But…anyway I guess my body didn't want to coincide with my mental state of being and everything I wanted just seemed as if it wasn't meant to be. I LOST MY BABIES! I became really depressed and even went from being a very picky bi-sexual female to an all-out lesbian. I didn't want anything to do with men. Well, things happen and sometimes you meet people you never could even imagine existing. And everything does a 360. Trust me…I'm living proof. I intended on having a one-night stand with some guy I met one drunken day and out of nowhere…"KAZAAM" I found LOVE! Here goes nothing…long story short, we had sex for hours….LITERALLY! NO PROTECTION! He's not a complete stranger NOW, because we're in a well-comitted relationship (for about 1 month now), but he was that night! We recently had a lot of unprotected sex and I just know that I'm going to be pregnant. I don't know how my parents are going to take it, but I know I hope this time what's meant to be WILL be. I want a baby! SO bad……I wish they were on sale in Walmart. (LOL) I love kids….I want to be an Ob/Gyn oneday! No joke. But back to my story…he was locked for about 2 years and had been home for about 1 month when we met….which means HE'S REALLY FERTILE. I've changed my lifestyle too, and I've just got a little gut feelling…this time might be the one! PLEASE NOT AGAIN….JESUS DON'T ALLOW ME TO LET ANOTHER BABY DIE INSIDE OF ME! LET THIS ONE BE THE ONE!
