I just joined this site a few minutes ago. I’m not sure how all of this works, but I’ve read a lot of the stories on here.
I am looking for advice and support and I am very scared right now.
I am 20 years old, a 3-year college student with an extremely social life. I work at a bar/grill where I deal with alcohol and a crazy environment. I am studying radiology and just moved away from home, into my own place…and bought a puppy a little over a month ago. Well, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation a few months ago joking about what would happen if I were to get pregnant. We never thought this would happen to us. He and I have been through SO MUCH… and I’m about to share my story on him which is why I am in such a rut…
He and I started dating in July of this year, but have dated once two years ago and met five years ago. Two years ago, he left me for another girl and moved in with her…then left her for me again… He cheated on me early in our relationship and had continued his “cheating” for months without my knowing. Since I’ve known, I’ve been down/depressed/sad all the time, wondering what is going on or what I didn’t do right. He yells and says he misses how I used to be happy and a free spirit all the time and that’s why he fell in love with… But then why did he cheat? More stuff has happened and we argue ALL the time. But you can’t help who you fall in love with, it’s so hard… My family doesn’t like him and I can’t even bring him home. What hurts the most is when I picture my life.. I picture a great man who loves me and I can bring home and enjoy life with my family as well as the one I love, almost finished with college, married in a few years THEN children.
But we got ourselves in this situation and I am pregnant. I am so unsure what I am going to do. A baby doesn’t deserve to go through a rough/unstable home. It’s not fair. I also can’t do this alone, or at least I am scared. I know my mom would help and love it eventually, but she doesn’t want me to have this child either, due to him being a part of my life forever. It’ll be so hard for me to stay concentrated in school and to find a good man… What guy (my age) would want to be tied down to a single mother and child..? Gosh it’s so much to think about. I have always been against abortion and I really don’t think I could go through with it. It’s my decision.. but it’s also my life.
I am driving myself crazy thinking about this…
Any advice?
