DEAR BECKY,
I AM 19 YEARS OLD AND I AM I THINK 8 OR 9 WEEKS PREG. MY SITUATION IS THAT I WANT THIS BABY MORE THAN ANYTHING I REALLY DO BUT I HAVE RECENTLY LOST MY HOME AND MY JOB! I HAVE NO MONEY NO CAR I AM NOT IN COLLEGE EVEN THO I WANT TO BE IO HAVE NO FAMILY HERE IN VA WITH ME AND I GOT MY GRANDMA TO SAY THAT I CAN LIVE IN HER RV IN FL BUT IF I DO THAT THEN THE BABYS FATHER CANT SEE ME BECAUSE HE IS BLACK AND I AM WHITE!!! I LOVE THE BABYS FATHER MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF BUT THAT SITUATION MAKES THIS EVEN MORE DIFFUCULT BECAUSE HE RECENTLY LOST HIS JOB TOO AND HIS HOME!! (WE WERE LIVING TOGETHER AS FRIENDS OF 5 OR 6 YEARS AND STARTED SLEEPING TOGETHER! HE IS IN SCHOOL AND IS ALMOST DONE AND DOESNT WANT TO SETTLE DOWN YET HE SAYS IN THE FUTURE MAYBE WHEN WE HAVE OUR LIVES TOGETHER AND FATE BRINGS US BACK….WHICH IT ALWAYS HAS….BUT I CANT DO THIS ALONE AND MY SITUATION IS HORRIBLE!!! I WANT THE BABY BUT AT THE SAME TIME I AM THINKING ABOUT HOW I GREW UP WITHOUT MY DAD AND A MOM WHO WAS SINGLE AND NEVER THERE FOR ME AND TO THIS DAY STILL ISNT BUT TRYS IN SMALL WAYS TO BE THERE….AND I HATED MY LIFE!@!!!! EVERYTHING ALWAYS GOES BAD FOR ME BECAUSE OF MY DECISIONS AND I THINK AT THE TIME ITS A GOOD DECISION BUT THEN AS TIME GOES BY AND THINGS GET EVEN WORSE THAT IN FACT IT WAS A BAD DECISION!!! MY FAMILY THINKS AN ABORTION IS THE BEST THING FOR CLINT (THE FATHER) THE BABY AND FOR I AND CLINT IS NOW KIND OF AGREEING ON THAT BUT I KNOW HOW I AM GOING TO FEEL AFTERWARDS AND I KNOW THAT IN MY HEART I REALLY DONT WANT AN ABORTION BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT DOES SEEM LIKE ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO BECAUSE I WONT GIVE IT UP FOR ADOPTION IM SORRY BUT I CANT DO THAT!!! THAT IS MY BABY AND IF I CARRY IT AND GIVE IT LIFE IT WILL STAY WITH ME BUT I DONT THINK IT IS FAIR TO BRING A LIFE INTO MY LIFE WHEN MY LIFE IS NOT GOING WELL AT ALL!!!! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AND EVEYONE I TALK TO IS SET TO ONE OPINION OR THE OTHER AND NO ONE IS NEUTRAL AND ABLE TO HELP BASED ON WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME AND THE BABY RATHER THAN JUST THEIR OWN OPINION!!! I NEED HELP FROM SOMEONE WHO WONT JUDGE ME OR THE SITUATION BASED ON WHAT THEY BELIEVE BUT WHAT WOULD BE RIGHT FOR ME AND THE CHILD AND FOR CLINT ALSO!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME!!!! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ON MY LIVING SITUATION AND THAT IS THE HARDEST THING CONSIDERING THAT I HAVE NO JOB MONEY OR CAR!!!!! I AM NOT STABLE YET BUT I REALLY WANT TO BE AND I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!! PLEASE HELP?????!!!! *MEGAN*