I had been in a relationship for 5 months when I fell pregnant at 17. It was a shock but i had decided that i was keeping the baby. I was about 5 weeks and experiencing morning sickness food cravings etc. then at 8 weeks i got horrible pains in my stomach. i was having a miscarriage. my world kinda fell apart at that moment. i spiralled down into a world of depression. couldnt eat, never wanted to get out of bed, couldnt work, i felt like it was my fault that this baby never survived. felt like i had caused it. a few months went by and i slowly went back to normal, still thinking abiut it every now and then but getting my life on track. my bf at the time was working away. when he got back we had a celebration and everyone was a little drunk. that night i fell pregnant. i found out early december of 2008. my partner wasnt ready for this and made it very obvious. he was still a kid at heart and didnt want the responsibility of a child. i was confused on what to do. i loved my bf and wanted to be with him but i felt he would never accept this. stupid young love put me in the worst decision of my life. he made it clear what he wanted. i remember the night before crying myself to sleep telling him i wanted this baby but he put doubts in my head that i would be an unfit mother from my depression . that i could cope raising a baby. i went through with it and now i think about it everyday. guilt, sadness , loss. i still remember sitting in the white room with the clock ticking and ticking. knowing in myself this was the wrong decision. it has been one year and 7 months since it happened. im not with the bf anymore but i still struggle most days knowing in myself that it was never the right decision or right thing to do. i hope that when i do fall pregnant again that my baby will forgive me and come back to me.