I finally decided to write my story,  i will do my best with my English…

When I was 16, I was constantly raped by a close person. After a few months, I got pregnant, and he made me say that the father was my ex-boyfriend, who was a very good person but I wasn’t having sex with him. He made me do that by threatening me for almost 3 months that I stayed in my hometown. My parents were very supportive, and I really wanted the baby.

So my parents took me away, where the father couldn’t find me, because he was looking for me (I don’t know how it’s call it, but it’s a house where help preg women in whatever situation). All was good, I felt peaceful and I thought my pregnancy was fine, but my mom saw me not really healthy and the medical assistance wasn’t good, my mom said. Then they took to the USA when I was about 7 months prego, and just a week after, I started to have contractions. I didn’t want to but I went to the hospital and I had preclamcia. The doctor could wait only two days for the baby get strong and he born on Tuesday, November 09.

My baby was diagnosed with hidrocefalia (Hydrocephaly), its was a really bad time. He was in the hospital for a month, each day hoping a new good advance. He was in good hands. The doctors did a good job, and I really appreciated it.

After a year and a half, I came back to home, enjoyed university and, didn’t need it, but I get a job. Just when all was going really great, I fell in love with someone in the office, and now I’m pregnant again. Its different because the father it around and he is happy. But I’m only 4 months and the baby its already diagnosed with gastroschisis and she will need surgery just born.

I’m too scared. Every moment, I feel like my babies are paying for my mistakes. I love them, even my unborn baby because I can feel her (its a girl).  And I don’t regret, I just feel  guilty…

Thanks for taking the time to read.