It all started when I met a boy. I was only fourteen he was almost twenty. Looking back I can't believe how blinded I was. He told me I was beautiful. I was the oldest of five kids and not used to so much attention. For the first few months he was so sweet. We kissed alot but not much more. After a while he told me he had needs and me being so innocent believed him. The first time hurt but I kept quite. He told me how much more he loved me. We had sex about once or twice a week for a few monthes, he said he always used a condom. About a month later I relized I wasen't getting my period. I was always very right on time. Then came the throwing up. I pretty much knew I was pregnant and told him. When he dropped me of at my house that night he didn't say much…That was the last time I saw him.

So here I was fourteen, pregnant, alone and didn't know what to do. About a week after I found out my mom came in to the bathroom early one night and asked me why I kept throwing up…I just started to cry and she screamed for my dad. They both wanted me to get a aborton but I wouln't. I loved this man who made our baby. I had a vision of me and him in our own house with a little blue eyed baby. My parents were livid. They took me to a ob/gyn and I found out I was about 6 weeks pregnant. My dad had to go to Iraq so here was mom with five kids all under fourteen with one pregnant. She said I could be home schooled untill the baby was born then give it up.

Fast forward six monthes later ….
We…I mean my mom decided I need to get a closed adoption. My sibs don't really know what going on. I am an expert at hiding my belly but am still never aloud out of the house.
I have developed a close bond with my baby who, a few monthes ago found out was a girl. I am dreading the day I will have to give her up. Every kick she gives me reminds me we only have so much time. My mom is still very unsupportive and is looking forward to the day this is all behind us. I never will be the same again.