I’m 18 years. old, I’m a freshman in college and this is MY STORY.
4 years, my freshman year in high school, I was ready and excited. I met this guy who I fell in love with and after a month, he took my virginity. Our relationship was strong and everything was good. In Feb, I noticed that I hadn’t had my period but never thought anything of it cause I hated my period anyway. I went to a party in the end of Feb. and ate so much food. So the next morning, it was no surprise that I woke up sick to my stomach. I thought I had food poisoning…. but I was wrong.
In March, me and my boyfriend broke up but were messing around. One day at his house, I told him I thought I was pregnant and he cursed me out, called me a liar and all kinds of stuff. I sat there and cried. Skipping ahead, I had really bad morning sickness and one morning, my mother was late for work and she caught me throwing up in my room cause i couldn’t make it to the bathroom. She asked me did I need a doctor. I told her no. She asked me was I pregnant, I told her no. She asked me again and I said yes. She stormed out of my room, called her job, told them she wasn’t coming to work. She came back and told me you messed up big time, now I gotta fork our money for you to have an abortion and that was that. I had no say so. She told me not to tell my ex but I did. All he could do was look at me as I cried. When i got home that day all I did was sit inside and cry. I told my mom I didn’t want to have an abortion and she said well, you’re gonna have to tell everyone and I was 14 so I knew people would talk about me and my family would be mad at me and I really didn’t have any guidance so I felt alone. My dad or any of my family never knew.
It was the end of school and two days later, I had the abortion. When they did the ultrasound, all I could do was look away cause I was so scared. I didn’t know what would happen. I was 3 months pregnant. All I remember is when they rolled me out of that room after it was done, all I could do was cry and ask why. To this day, it is still hard for me. I feel an empty space in my heart and I don’t know how to deal with it.
Me and my ex were still messin’ around up until 12th grade. We are friends now and he’s the only connection I feel that I have to my baby. Everytime I look at a picture of us, I think about our child. I wonder what it was (girl or boy). Everytime I see a pregnant woman, i want to ball tear. Everytime I see a baby, I get sad. I feel I’ll never be right until I have a child of my own and I really can’t do that now because I’m in college. But then I look at all these other teenage mother who are making it and it’s an inspiration. But still, who gets pregnant just to do it. I just don’t want anyone to go through this situation. it’s not worth it. Just today in my public speaking class, a girl gave a speech on Abortion and it hurt me to my soul. She made it clear that Abortion isn’t an easy way out….. I could have easily given my child up for adoption. It sucks so bad to be in this situation still.
But I pray that I make it and I pray that no one chooses this road cause it’s not an easy one.
