So I’m 18 years old and I found out I was pregnant in January…
It was a big shock for me because it was totally unplanned… I was 8 hours away from home and scared like crazy… It hadn’t even crossed my mind until I realized I was late… I didn’t think I was pregnant but it wouldn’t leave the back of my mind so one day, I went to Walmart and took a test and sure enough, it was positive. I didn’t believe it at 1st. It took another test and a clinic visit later to finally believe it… I wasn’t sure what I was going to do… I knew exactly who the father was but I also knew what he’d say. You see I’m not with my baby’s daddy, I never officially was. I’ve known him for 4 years and he was my first love and basically first everything… We always had a very complicated relationship and I knew this wasn’t going to be easy. I hadn’t even talked to him since I went back home the month before for Christmas… Around the same time, I must have conceived.
A few days after I went to the clinic, I decided it was time to tell my sister. I told her and that’s when it hit me… This was really happening… I really was pregnant… The very next day, my other sister came to pick me up and bring me back home. I didn’t know what else to do so I gave up the life I spent the last 5 months trying to make for myself. I was trying to get my life back on track. I was tired of messing mine up and it seemed like I was doing good. I was studying hard for the pharmacy tech program I was in. I had cooled down on the partying and drinking, and even sex…and even though up until that night I hadn’t had sex in a long time, that’s all it takes… One time… And in one night, I changed my life forever without even knowing it…
After coming home, I was pretty confused. I didn’t really want to talk about it. I wasn’t sure how I really felt but I knew I couldn’t have an abortion, not that I’m against it but it wasn’t the right choice for me. I finally told the baby’s daddy and he took it better then I expected but still wasn’t ready to commit to being a daddy and I wasn’t going to make him. It was his choice, just like it was my choice to keep it. And even though, I was keeping it, I don’t think I was happy about it. At first, I was too scared but somewhere along the line, that all changed. I want this baby now.
It may have been unplanned but it was not a mistake. Everything happens for a reason… Now I’m 14 weeks pregnant and although, at times, I just want to go back, I know I made the right choice. It’s not always easy especially since not everyone is supportive and the baby’s daddy and I kind of had a big falling out and aren’t speaking. I know in the end when I have a beautiful baby to hold and it will all be worth it.
