Hi, I am 18 years old and I have been dealing with a lot of pain inside of me for the past 4 years now.

When I was in the 8th grade, one of my guy friends introduced me to one of his friends at the beginning of the school year. The guy and I hit it off and began to talk on the phone all the time. At the time, I was 12 years old and he was 15. One day, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He used to talk about sex all the time, but we never went through with it until…

It was the summer before I was going to the 9th grade and I decided to give in to all his peer pressure and lose my virginity to him. I was 13 years old, not knowing what I was getting myself into. We had sex 3 times that summer and surprisingly, the 3rd time was a charm. When he came, he told me he came inside of me and that the condom had failed. I did not know what to think. A month later, my period did not come.

I told my boyfriend and he was speechless. Every time I brought up anything about the baby, he didn’t want to hear it. So eventually I gave up on him being a part of my life and my child’s life.

I was 13, almost 14. Prego. Alone. Depressed.

I was stressed with how I was I going to tell my mom. I knew she was going to be completely distraught. I cried all the time, trying to get up enough courage to tell my mom, but I never could. The only people I had told was my best friend and my boyfriend.

Months and months went by. Labor Day, Halloween, My Birthday (11-10), Thanksgiving, and Christmas. It was almost time to go back to school and I was on the phone with my best friend and she just kept telling me I needed to tell my mom and stop hiding my pregnancy since I was so far along. As soon as I got off the phone with BFF, I called my mom at her job and told her I was pregnant. She was highly upset. She told me I couldn’t have my baby. I was devastated. She told me to get dressed and immediately took me to the doctor. He tested my urine and sure enough, I was pregnant. I got an ultrasound and he said I was 22 1/2 weeks prego. My mom was  so stuck on me getting an abortion and that was the last thing I thought she would say. My mom gave me NO choice. Either she disowned or I get rid of it. I had no one to turn to. I felt like it wasn’t even my baby anymore. Since I was so far along, I had to drive to have an induced abortion in Atlanta, Georgia at 24 weeks.

Even though I was so young, I still wanted to have my baby and raise her. She was a part of me and my mom took that away from me. To this day, I live with this pain inside of me. Sometimes, I sit and cry because I know I would have been able to do everything possible for my child, but my mom took my chance away from me. I yearn for another child so much. I pray to God that he will bless me to give the gift of life.