I’m 19 and have recently found out I’m pregnant. I thought my boyfriend, 23, would be happy. We had planned for a while to have children. Then he comes home with evidence that two years ago, after his fourth child, he had a vasectomy, but I didn’t cheat on him. I know this baby is his and that his operation must have been a failure, but no matter what I say he won’t believe it.

It is awful that because of this, my child is going to be raised without its father, with me as its only family. I find out how far along I am next week. Then I’m going to inquire about an amniocentesis, to find out when I can have it to prove to my boyfriend the baby is his. I never wanted to be a single mother, but there is no way I could turn to abortion or adoption. I was pushed into an adoption when I was still a child at 14 and I could never do that again. I had the thought to get an abortion today. I even looked up prices, but it just didn’t feel right to take away a part of me, to rob my baby of its chance to live. I know it is going to be tough and I will have a lot of judgment from other people about keeping my baby, but I know that it is the right thing to do. I know I want to keep this baby, to raise it myself. I’m looking at a place today for me, the baby, and a few close friends, so at least I have some support. There is no way that I can continue to live with my boyfriend if he will not accept that this life, this innocent little baby inside me, is something we created together. It is just not how I am. I can’t live the lie that he wants people to believe. He can paint me as the bad person, but there is no way I will let those feelings reach my baby, to harm my baby as they surely would.

I will keep posting updates as I get further along and let you all know of the outcome.