i am in so much pain constantly emotionally. I had an abortion in February. i never wanted to do it. my boyfriend convinced me. he didnt even come with me to the clinic. He picked me up but thats all. i remember the night before the abortion i was with my friend who was coming with me and i just cried and cried and cried. i didnt want to go thru with it. i was almost four months pregnant! it was weird because when id be walking id always hold my tummy not realizing i was even doing it.

 i think i wanted to protect my baby. even tho i killed them in the end.Its not easy. I think about my baby everyday of my life. I cry myself to sleep most nights and have random breakdowns. i dont regret getting pregnant i regret the abortion. my baby would've been about a month old.

ill always be a mum just my baby will be in heaven.

if i ever have any other children i will make sure they no about there little brother or sister that is watching over them from heaven. i talk to her all the time and tell her im sorry. i just fear that she hates me. cause i sure hate myself. i'd give up anything just to have her with me right now.

even my youth worker told me to have the abortion. I would've done it tho.i wouldve had a reason to live. where as now i dont.  i have a reason to die and thats to go to heaven and be with my child.

please consider EVERY option before abortion. you will regret it