So my story begins when I moved to a new city and transferred to a new school.
This school isn’t the best one out there. I was one of few white people, which wasn’t a problem, just a different environment for me. I was a freshman and I met this boy, he was a sophomore. When I met him, I asked if he did any drugs or was a virgin or not. He said no and yes to the virgin. I eventually found out that he lied about drugs when he came to school high on weed and I tasted it on his lips. And me, having trouble with men my entire life, I clung to him anyway. One night, I asked him to promise me to never pressure me into having sex, he did. The next day, I went to his house, alone. (I don’t know how I got away with any of this!) And we ended up having sex. It wasn’t completely his fault, or mine. It was both of us. But after that, it just got out of control. I ended up smoking weed with him. My life was a mess and I couldn’t even see it.
When my dad went to prison, it got even worse. we were on and off from February to June. On the last day of school, I was high and went to his house and he and I ended up having sex. I got caught trying to sleep over so I was grounded from everything. When I missed my period, I told my mom everything. Thinking that she would understand because she got pregnant at 17. But no, I was wrong. A lot of stuff went down, but what basically happened when I told him and his mom, they all wanted me to get an abortion. Nobody wanted my baby except for me. And what I thought was an appointment with my doctor to check the baby, was actually a meeting at the abortion clinic. I went through with it because I couldn’t take care of my baby all by myself and he didn’t deserve the kind of life I’ve had.
I have had postpartum depression for months. I want to cry every time someone talks about a baby. My sister had her baby exactly nine months from the day I got pregnant. It killed me. I haven’t had any contact with him since I moved away so that I could start a new year with nobody knowing anything about my past. Not a single person knows about the pregnancy or drinking and drugs in my new town. I feel horrible about my decision. I always replay the event when the abortion lady asked if I was being forced to do this and I said no.
That’s my story.
