Normally, when a mother gave birth. Mom stays in the hospital for a day or two and brings home the healthy baby. 


That’s what happened to me and my baby. Only, he is not really “healthy”.


This is Baby Tristan.


His story began on June 16, 2010 at exactly 12:00 am. Perfect isn’t it. 


At the time of his birth his heart is already failing but the doctors were able to revive him.


He had a condition called cleft lip and cleft palate. Doctors from different department came to see him, dentists, ENT residents and surgeons,they planned a course of medical and surgical treatment for him.


June 17, we went home. Happy, contented, satisfied and overflowing with joy.


June 20, went back to the hospital. Doctor said he was fine. I’m not contented so I called our former college physician who  is a pediatrician. No heart murmur, but he has pneumonia. So ewe had to give baby tristan strong antibiotics.


June 22, His condition i getting better. He is responding well to his antibiotics. No need for hospitalization.


after 2 weeks, no more cough and colds. He’s doing fine. Check-up done. Doctor prescribed him with hematinic. He’s a little too pale.


Another 2 weeks have passed. Time for his shots. The health center doctor told us that Baby tristan is blue and has laboured breathing. So we went straight to the emergency room and he was intubated immediately for suctioning then removed it again. They said he had an aspiration pneumonia. They found milk in his lungs (common in children with cleft palate). No murmur.


When we are on our way to our room, Dr. Meneses, asked the resident who are transferring us to the ward about the case of Baby Tristan. She asked if he has a heart murmur, again NO MURMUR. His fingers are already clubbed and he’s still blue. Dr. Meneses checked for herself and there, she heard it. 


Laboratorie and 2d echo were done. They confirmed he has congenital heart defect called Transpoition of great arteries.Transposition of the great vessels is a congenital heart defect in which the two major vessels that carry blood away from the heart — the aorta and the pulmonary artery — are switched (transposed).


1 week following our hospitalization, we were ready for discharge. As we are packing our things after we fed him. He cried continuously. We cannot hush him no matter what we do. Residents said that he had another aspiration. Suddenly he stopped moving, no movements, even his eyes won’t blink. 


I was in panic. I called a priest in the middle of the night for his emergency baptism. THen the doctors intubated him again. But this time, it is not only for a minute. At about 1am they reinserted the tube. then that morning they transferred baby tristan to the Intensive Care Unit. There he stayed and fight for 2 more weeks. Everyday blood was extracted from him, blood were transfused to him and he was bombarded with strong antibiotics. 


Until one day he was ready for the operation but the hospital refused to transfer us to the Philippine Heart center for his surgery because of financial matters. How can we withdraw the money 9pm in the evening where can we get 50k+ if the banks were already closed?


We waited. He waited… for nothing.


The next morning he passed away.


We lost the fight because of some unreasonable doctor (Officer in Charge) that night.  


It’s okay. My son is now at peace. Baby Tristan is our angel now.


Until today, I feel miserable.I think that somehow it is my fault. I didn’t bring him to a better hospital. I should’ve seen the signs and symptoms. I am a nurse. I could’ve done something to save him. I can’t go to work and focus. I don’t think I can practice my profession ever again. I miss him so much. He is my life. I know I must stand up again but can somebody tell me how? PLEASE.

BTW here’s his photo. An angel before your eyes.

My baby @ 2 weeks.