I thought I'd post something about mourning after an abortion… I think so many of us struggle with that part of our healing, because,

  • we don't feel we deserve the right to heal; or
  • we don't know how to or where to begin

Recognize that it is normal and good to mourn any loss, such as the loss of an aborted child. Recognize also that it takes time to mourn. Allow yourself to mourn. Accept your grief as normal rather than burying it. You will always remember your baby, but the pain will gradually fade as you begin the healing process.

Self forgiveness is also important, even if in most cases, it's the hardest part of the journey.

I got the following from http://www.worldvillage.com/ and even though I'm not a christian, it made alot of sense and really got through to me:

Forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a choice that must be made as a conscious act of the will and has nothing to do with your feelings. The choice doesn't change your feelings any more than your feelings nullify the choice. Making the choice is not the destination. It is only the beginning of the journey toward healing.

Forgiveness does not undo the damage or minimize the pain. It does not sweep the conduct or the consequences under the rug where they will trip you up later. Forgiveness involves facing your feelings and dealing with them directly and honestly. Acknowledge the anger, the hurt, the guilt, the shame. But because your feelings will change daily, you must choose to anchor yourself in God's Word that never changes.

Forgiveness is a product of God's mercy. If you feel that you don't deserve to be forgiven, you're right. Forgiveness is a free gift from God based on the shed blood of Jesus Christ at Calvary. Just as you did nothing to earn the forgiveness that leads to salvation, you can do nothing to earn forgiveness for your sin now. You must choose to accept God's forgiveness and you must choose to forgive yourself. God commands that you do so (Ephesians 4:31-32).

Forgiveness is a command. God never commands us to do something without providing a way for us to obey Him. It is impossible to obey the command to forgive without relying on God's forgiveness to enable you. Jesus said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26). In time He will enable you, through the power of His Holy Spirit, to completely forgive yourself and anyone else who may have played a part in your abortion (Philippians 2:13). However, you must first decide to forgive. If you will allow Him, God will work in you to free you from the bondage of the guilt, the grief and the shame.


I really hope that this helps someone.

love and hugs,