My eldest daughter had been rebellious for several years so when she told me that she was pregnant at seventeen, my reaction was calm. It was the icing on the cake for me. I am the mother of four children. On that day almost two years ago, my other children were 14, 11 and 5. My husband and I had been married 18 years. This news changed our life forever. After the initial shock had worn off, anger and disappointment settled into our lives.
Haley was very irresponsible and the thought of her having a baby and trying to raise it seemed like impossibility to me. She couldn’t take care of herself. She made bad choices. How in the world was she going to care for an infant? Since I still had a five year old, I was not in the position to raise another child. Nor did I want that responsibility. I would have had another child myself had that been the case. I was very worried for this life – rightfully so. We gave the situation over to God by praying, seeking wisdom and continuing to obey what we thought our God was calling us to do in this situation. It was not easy.
She was terrified to tell us she was pregnant. She contemplated abortion. This website, STAND UP GIRL, was one of the resources she turned to. Thank God. She also went to Planned Parenthood, who “accidentally” showed her her sonogram. The sonogram confirmed in her heart she could not go through with the abortion. It was no accident she got to see her baby’s picture.
So she told us, and was mentally better off after we knew. We put the baby’s well being first, and started preparing our hearts and lives for this new life to be added to our family. You may not realize how far reaching the effects of a teen pregnancy are… Our extended family was affected. We had a sister-in-law who had just experienced a miscarriage – a loving family who could not wait to have another baby. How devastating the news of a teen pregnancy was to them. This affected our church family. This affected the way our community looked at my daughter and our family – some good, some very, very negative.
It was an emotional rollercoaster. We were dealing with a child who had made adult decisions before she was ready. There was no turning back and, much to our joy, our daughter and her boyfriend stepped up to the plate and put this little life before their own. This was a very difficult decision for them because even though they had our emotional support, we put the entire responsibility onto them. They paid all the bills and were completely responsible for everything.
Aviana Ruby was born August 15, 2007 at 7:47 pm to a 17 year old mother and 18 year old father. She was a beautiful blessing. This tiny bundle of joy made two teenagers grow up very quickly. They chose to do the right thing by having her and then they chose the right thing by taking great care of her.
Today, Ava is 17 months old. She is a walking, talking example of God’s grace. He blessed us even when we didn’t deserve to be. We made our fair share of mistakes in the last two years dealing with our situation, but I think the Lord might use it in spite of us. I hope someone somewhere can be encouraged by our story. Trust that God will work out every thing for good. Seek Him, obey Him and you will be blessed.
For the girls out there in this situation, pray. Know that there is always hope and your baby deserves the chance to live. God has a plan for all of us, even your unborn baby. Find someone you trust, and talk to them. You’ll feel relief and will appreciate their support. Tell your parents immediately. They can help you get the proper prenatal care that your baby deserves. It will give them time to adjust to the fact that they are going to be grandparents. They can also help you make wise decisions. Do not allow any negative people to persuade you to do something you know is not right. Go with your gut feelings.
For the girls out there who feel they have no support, pray. Try to find one adult who can help you. A local pregnancy resource center can give you free help, and information on other area resources. Abortion should never be an option. Everyone deserves a chance to live – you have that chance, give that chance to your baby.
For the parents of a pregnant teen, pray. Don’t make any decisions until your anger has subsided. Know that God is with you and has a plan for your family. You are your child’s biggest supporter or your child’s worst enemy. She needs you right now for wisdom. Seek advice yourself, and at this point, please put the baby’s needs in front of everything. After all of the emotions die down, the reality of it is that this is a life – your flesh and blood. God will work it all out for good if you allow him to.
Thanks for letting me share a little of our story. May God Bless you!!