After spending years of being sexually active and promiscuous, I was pregnant with my second child from a second father. I decided that I needed a big change in my life. I thought that no one would ever want to be with me and that I was all used up and had no worth. Still, I decided that if anyone would ever love me enough to marry me that he would have to wait until we were married to have sex. I was done taking chances and putting my health and well being on the line as well as my emotions and self esteem. Right before I found out that I was pregnant with my second child I had set my eyes on a really great guy. He was a total gentleman and unlike any guy I had ever been with. Now I was pregnant and I thought to myself that I had lost all hope of ever ending up with him. I gave birth to a little boy and my life was finally starting to level out and get into a decent routine. We ended up at the same places a lot of the time, with the same group of friends and I just tried to stay focused on my kids and other responsibilities. I decided that if I were ever to date again that I wanted to be pursued and not seem desperate, so I kept to myself and let him come to me. There were some guys that would offer to help me carry things to my car or hold a kid or some other kind gesture, but I made a solid choice to only let a man help me if I was interested in him. I did not want to give the wrong impression, and I only had one man in my sights. After some time, he started noticing me, and would start small conversations here and there. I tried really hard to conceal my feelings so that if he showed interest I knew it was his idea, and not my advances. One day a guy offered to help me with something and I politely turned down his offer. Then the man I had in my sights turned around and offered a hand. I smiled and received his help to my car. It was very obvious at that point that he had figured out that I was very particular about who I would let help me and that he wanted to be someone I would let in. My rule was that I would only let older men help me with things, no young single men my age. After this we began talking on the phone a lot and we slowly began seeing each other. We had many serious talks about what we wanted in a husband/wife and about our relationship being complicated since it involved our children, too. He had a son and I had a daughter and a son, we realized that one day the kids were going to grow up and move away and that our relationship had to be based on more than just having a partner to raise our children with. We did our best to keep the physical romance to a minimum and we had the same goal of no sex till the wedding night. We set up rules like he had to leave my house before my kids went to bed and could not come over until they were awake in the morning. That way they were never confused about when he left or got there. We didn’t have a lot of time to date as just a couple because it was hard to find babysitters with no family around. So we did things like go to the park and talk while the kids played. When he finally asked me to marry him I was in shock. With all the conversations we had had, I knew that he wanted to be with me, not just be a father to my kids. I knew that he loved me and respected me and his proposal had nothing to do with what I had to offer physically because we had not had sex. I felt so special and wanted in a way that I had never experienced, and it was an amazing feeling. Even though I was not a virgin, on my wedding night I did get to experience purity in a way that I never thought I would. My husband and I saved our first time for our wedding night – it was so amazing. There was no wondering if he would call me the next day, if he would be there when I woke up, if he would dump me in the morning. He loved me enough to marry me without knowing what our bedroom experience would be like. Our relationship is based on so much more than physical issues. It gives me a confidence and sense of security to know that if he waited for me till our wedding night that if I ever have a major surgery or accident that he can survive without sex if needed during that healing time. He has proven himself to not be superficial and shallow, and I no longer have jealousy issues with him like I had in the past with old boyfriends. I am proud of myself for waiting and for Standing Up for my expectations in a husband. It proved to be successful and we are happily married and have a child between us now along with the children we each brought into the world before we were together. You don’t have to be a virgin to experience purity on your wedding night, you don’t have to have sex with a guy to prove your love, and you have a greater chance of a happy and successful marriage by saving the physical act of love until you’ve made the commitment.