Hello everybody!

I am a single mama of 4 kids.  I am 35.  My situation in life is quite a bit different than other stories I have been reading on here. I am in the middle of a divorce.  I was married for almost 12 years.  My ex was addicted to porn and I had enough.  I was a stay-at-home mom. Now I have to join the workforce.  I am completely stressed over money and other things.  I thought I had found the man of my dreams.  He was awesome when we first started dating.  I should have seen the red flags though.  The baby mama of his 3 kids is psycho!!!

When she found out about me, she told him that he was never going to see his kids again.  He ended up not talking to me at all for about 2 weeks.  I finally got him to talk to me again, but our relationship has been different ever since.  We have been dating for almost 5 months.  I just found out last week that I am pregnant.  I have got so many things running through my head.  I almost went and had an abortion.  I’m scared that my ex is going to tell my kids things to turn them away from me.  I’m afraid to tell my parents because this is how my marriage started several years ago.  I am ashamed of myself for making the same mistake twice in my life.

My sister is also pregnant and her due date is 2 days ahead of mine.  She has struggled for years to get pregnant and staying pregnant.  She has had 3 miscarriages and one was at 14 weeks.  I am so scared to tell her and don’t know the right time to tell her either.  My boyfriend seems to be mad at me for being pregnant.  He is very busy with work and I’m scared I’m gonna have to do this all by myself.  I just don’t think I can handle it.  Still contemplating what to do.  If I go through with the pregnancy and give it up for adoption, I’m worried about what that is going to tell my kids.  I don’t want them to think that I will ever give them up.  If I keep the baby, I’m going to be doing this all on my own.  If I have an abortion, I don’t have to worry about that stuff, but I know it will eat me up inside forever.  I’m so stressed about everything that my body is rebelling against me too and I am having a few health problems.  I feel like there is no way out of this!!