Since Keagan died… We went two separate ways. Kinda. William went to rehab, I went to Counseling… We talked occasionally, but we never had anything to say.
William moved into his moms new place in August of 2009… so he could continue the road to sobriety. I stayed here, in Springfield. I took the summer planning an “empty” life. School, College, Work, Future Job. ALL planned out…I didnt have Keagan, or William so all the things I planned before were null and void. He checked up on me still, and I have to admit, Its HARD to love someone, and considering my daughter was gone, made loving him that much worse….
In October, I cut off all contact, I had to… And, i did complete every goal i set for myself, and i became really “superficial”… Know a cheerleader? and how they’re peppy? that was me, i smiled, so much, it became a new thing…
I went to therapy/counseling that my parents reluctantly set up…but i went once, twice a month… i wasnt interested. I dealt with everyone talking about me. the worst story i heard thus far… i killed my daughter. william killed our daughter… thats unfair. my baby died from lacking oxygen for too long… william and i fighting didnt help anything…
 but, william found out that the girl he had been dating was pregnant in january of this year. calling me, he asked that we talk. William never let me down. Besides our fighting, He really didnt. I can’t blame him for everything. But… he talked. more than i had in year that had passed us by, and asked that i still be there for him, because one thing he was totally sure of was that he loved me. Speechless, I said i’d always be there. March,April, May, June, July i attended my 2-hour a week counseling sessions. I talked to William. I visited Keagan. I brought her to my surface. I’m willing on fixing this. August, William’s exgirlfriend had a due date. by the 4th.. Baby Micheal was born, full term he was ony 4 pounds, and tested positive for heroin. William’s son was placed in DFS…where he’s stayed. William’s almost done with parenting plan, next step is placement with william-the girl signed rights off..drugs are more important , and today… September 14th, 2011… I’m engaged to the man i will always love. Mistakes happen. I forgive will. all the love in the world…. William may not be perfect but, love is.