lost
After reading many women’s stories I thought writing everything down may help. Theres a chance I could be pregnant. I’m thinking its more likely yes then no, and that thought scares me. I don’t really know what to do. I’ve had scares before as I am extremely paranoid, I’m a 16 year old and I […]

After reading many women’s stories I thought writing everything down may help. Theres a chance I could be pregnant. I’m thinking its more likely yes then no, and that thought scares me. I don’t really know what to do. I’ve had scares before as I am extremely paranoid, I’m a 16 year old and I love my boyfriend more than anything. I know he thinks getting rid of a baby would be easy as when I’ve been scared before he’s always not really listened. But now I feel weird, I’ve had plans, looked up procedures and I know everything I need to. But the reality is quite different to the facts. I am lost, as I don’t want to feel the hurt that some women have. However, I know I have to have an abortion as I have no finacial support and my mum wouldn’t allow me to keep it, neither would my boyfriend. Its stupid of me to keep it. It would ruin my life and I know its impossible. Therefore, I have to sit and wait around, hoping I get my period.

 

I’ve been having cramps since at least a week ago, and I’m due on at some point this week. I am praying I get it as I don’t want to hurt a baby, but I know that if I have to then I have no other alternative. This makes me sad, and as much as I want this to all go away, its my own fault, and I shouldn’t have been so stupid.

 

I’m on the pill, so we haven’t always used condoms, not at all recently, which I knew was a bad idea, but it didn’t stop me. But I always felt quite confident as he always pulled out, making it slightly safer as there would be less there.

 

But anyway, I now fear that this will change me, as it has so many others. I always thought I would be able to do this but I just know it will hurt me emotionally and be quite unbearable.

 

I just joined this site for this purpose as I thought that someone on here would be more experienced and knowledge- filled than me.

So basically I was wondering if you could tell me how likely it is that I’m pregnant, and if I am, has anyone had the up to 13 week surgical abortion, because it think that would be my preference.

 

A final worry is that I will be too late to have the abortion done. I’ll test next week if nothing happens. And I’ll be around 5 weeks then, so I don’t want to run out of time.

 

Any advice is welcome, and sorry for writing so much, I always thought it was impossible to write as much as some people do, but then I guess I’ve found I have a lot to say.

Thankyou for reading.

 

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