I don't want to be here anymore. No one understands how hard it is to kill your own child. I just want them back. She would've been born now in my arms as i type, and i would've been telling you all about her.
praying everyday that i dont get my period. then crying my heart out when i do, it's no way to live. but i'm not ready to let go of my baby. I still have her photo i'll never be able to get rid of it. never. It's the last thing i have of her. i'm thinking of getting a tattoo with her name written across my chest so that she'll always be close to my heart wherever i go.
You know what hurts the most? Missing my baby so much that i want to die. and knowing i'l never see her ever. It's the worst feeling in the world.
i just feel like im not worth anything anymore, am i? to everyone else in the world im just some teenage trash who got pregnant and had an abortion. you know when i first found out i was pregnant, i was so ashamed of myself. I instantly thought of what my nana would think of what everyone would think. not once did i think about myself and my baby. When i went to the abortion clinic for my first apointment and saw my baby on the screen and her little heart beat that was when it hit me
i had a baby growing inside of me. and she was beautiful. i changed my mind i wanted to keep her so bad. but my boyfriend told me no. so i had the abortion and i've lived in pain everyday since.