live and learn..
So I’m almost 18 and on the 20th of Feb, I had an abortion. I was 7 weeks and 4 days along. I wanted to keep my baby, but I had no choice. My boyfriend said there was no other way… My parents didn’t know and they still don’t so I’m pretty much alone in […]

So I’m almost 18 and on the 20th of Feb, I had an abortion. I was 7 weeks and 4 days along.

I wanted to keep my baby, but I had no choice. My boyfriend said there was no other way… My parents didn’t know and they still don’t so I’m pretty much alone in everything. My boyfriend’s worried about sex.. because I told him if by being safe, I end up pregnant again, then we’re keeping it and that I don’t care what he thinks because mentally, I can’t do this again. No girl should have to go through this pain. This had completely changed me as a person. I will never be the same again after this experience. It was life-changing and traumatizing…

I’ll never forget the day I gave my baby wings. I was the first appointment of the day and I got my ultrasound. I wanted to see my baby one last time. She left it on the screen for a minute so I could see it and spend a moment with it one last time. Then it was off to the operating room. I was a nervous wreck. I went and changed into my gown, prayed for a few minutes, held my stomach, and said goodbye to my little baby. It was a quick procedure, less than 8 min, but having to live with this on my shoulders for the rest of my life just isn’t worth a human life. I feel like a horrible person. I feel like I’m a murderer, a murderer of an innocent child, my child… And I’ll never forgive myself…

So anyone considering an abortion, really consider the long-term effects of such a thing, and realize once it’s done, it’s done, and there’s no going back. So if there is any part of you saying keep it, then you should. A part of me was and God, now I wish I would have listened…Ā  One day, I’ll have another when the time is right, but never will I ever forget my first child. May my baby forgive me. I love my baby with all my heart and I just hope it knows that.

I will see you again one sweet day, my baby,

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