live and learn..

by | 2010 | Real Stories

So im almost 18, and on the 20th of feb i had an abortion. i was 7wks and 4 days.  i wanted to keep my baby but i had no choice my boyfriend said there was no other way.. my parents didnt know and they still dont so im pretty much alone in everything, my […]

So im almost 18, and on the 20th of feb i had an abortion. i was 7wks and 4 days.  i wanted to keep my baby but i had no choice my boyfriend said there was no other way.. my parents didnt know and they still dont so im pretty much alone in everything, my boyfriends worried about sex.. bc i told him if being safe i end up pregnant again then were keeping it and that i dont care what he thinks bc mentlly i cant do this again, no girl should haft to go through this pain. this had completly changed me as a person, i will never be the same again after this experience. its life changing and tramatazing…  il never forget the day i gave my baby wings. i was the first appt of the day and i got my ultra sound i wanted to see my baby one last time. she left it on the screen for a min so i could see it and spend a moment with it one last time. then it was off to the operating room, i was a nervous wreck, i went and changed into my gown, prayed for a few minutes held my stomach and said goodbye to by little baby, it was a quick precedure less than 8 min, but having to live with this on my shoulders for the rest of my life just isnt worth a human life. i feel like a horrible person. i feel like im a murderer.. a murderer of an innocent child. my child.. and il never forgive myself..
  so anyone considering an abortion really consider the long term effects of such a thing, and realise once its done its done and theres no going back, so if there any part of you saying keep it, then you should, apart of me was and god now i wish i would have listened..  one day il have another when the time is right but never will i ever forget my first child. may my baby forgive me. i love my baby with all my heart and i just hope it knows that. i will see you again one sweet day my baby,

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