Hey, I’m 19 and I’m 3 months and 2 weeks pregnant. This will be my first child…

I didn’t know where else to go. I didn’t know what I am supposed to do…  I had 2 express myself and I have no1 I can talk 2… I found out I was preggas at 2 and a half months. As soon as I found out, I tried 2 get myself registered with a doctor so I could get an abortion but no doctor would take me on as a patient.

This is my problem… I’m trying so hard 2 b positive bout this as it isn’t the baby’s fault but I feel so alone and abandoned. The person who I thought was the father disowned me and shacked up with another pregnant chick.. but later found out it was my friend’s baby. He’s told me that he has a 5 year plan and it doesn’t involve me or a baby… I’m starting to think bout adoption cause I don’t think I could love this baby. I had a scan the other week and all I could do was cry and had 2 leave the room. It upset me so much to know it was really there and I was gunna be a mom. I know what my family wud think of me and they wouldn’t support me having a baby. It’s always been just me and the world and now, it’s me, a baby, and the world. I can’t even look after myself… I feel so low and lost my spirit.. I’ve thought about the end of my life as that is how far down I am… I’m in counselling but its not helping… I try 2 talk 2 friends but they just don’t get what its like…

What have I done??